iqa*

2005-08-13T15:14:00.000+08:00

I AM PERMANENTLY MOVING TO LIVEJOURNAL AND I'M CLOSING DOWN THIS BLOG.

I CAN'T HELP BUT BE AMAZED AT THE CHANGES. TRUST ME, I NEVER WANTED IT TO BE THIS WAY.
THINGS AREN'T WORKING OUT FOR ME NOW.

AND YES, I AM LIFELESS IN REALITY. MY LIFE'S NOT OH-SO-EXCITING LIKE YOURS.
MY LIFE MAY BE PATHETIC, BUT I DON'T NEED YOU TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME.

I APOLOGISE IF I EVER OFFENDED ANYONE.
SORRY.

GOODBYE.

2005-08-12T17:54:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK.

TO PEOPLE WHO STILL THINKS THAT NAME-CALLING IS UBER FUN AND WHO FEELS THAT I NEED TO BE REMINDED AGAIN OF HOW FUCKING UGLY I AM, BY ALL MEANS, DIRTY MY TAGBOARD.

OH, WAIT.
*LAYS OUT RED CARPET*
OKAY. DO YOUR THING, PEOPLE WITH NO LIVES.
I'M GIVING YOU SOMETHING TO ACTUALLY DO TO TAKE UP YOUR FREE TIME. SINCE YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO FIND A HOBBY OR SOMETHING. SHEESH.

OKAY MOOOOVING ON, I AM CURRENTLY DOWN WITH FEVER AND FLU. GOOEY STUFF FLOWING LIKE NIAGARA FALLS. HAHA EWW. I WENT TO THE DOCTOR'S AND I GOT A DAY'S LEAVE. SO YEAH, I'M NOT GOING TO THE ~~HIGHLY ANTICIPATED~~ KRANJI'S TENTH-YEAR-ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? I'M JUST A CREW. BUT ANYWAYS, BREAK A LEG, PERFORMERS!

BOYOHBOYOHBOY. I CAN'T WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO GUSH ABOUT HOW GREAT IT WENT. AWW DON'T WORRY, I PROMISE I WON'T CRY WHEN I FIND OUT HOW FUN IT WAS.

OKAY BEFORE I GET ALL SARCASTIC, I'M OFF. I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN HOW SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE MY SARCASM, DON'T WORRY. AH, SHIT. THERE I GO AGAIN.

BUT WAIT, ISN'T IT BEWILDERING HOW SOMETIMES WHAT PEOPLE SAY AND WHAT PEOPLE DO ARE SO SO SO SO CONTRADICTING? ITS MIND-BLOWING, K.

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD?
HAHA NOT!
JUST SAY SORRY AND EXPECT THINGS WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL.
DREAM ON, K.
I THOUGHT IT WAS THAT EASY.
BUT BOYOHBOYOHBOY WAS I WRONG.

replies to tags :

Diah - haha. something, something. (=
PrInCeSs aZiE - thanks! u too k.
SwEeeTkiSsEs - haha. i'm back! (=
Covergirl - i miss your sweet voice too! i'm back! so don't merajok k. (=
Shaaa* - i didn't? sorry! i'll link u up. i'm an avid reader of your blog too! altho now i can't seem to tag. i don't have macromedia flash. (=
LLY - i miss you too! tc k.
lola - aww i miss you too kakak! see you online SOON, k! (=

2005-08-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

I REARRANGED MY MSN CONTACTS LIST AGAIN.
18 PEOPLE DELETED AND BLOCKED. ADDED MORE GROUPS.

I'M TIRED AND I'M CRANKY.
I'M CONFUSED AND I'M SICK.
AHHH.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!
AND OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS, KRANJIANS.
OH WAIT. ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.
AH SHUCKS.

K THIS IS STILL THE BEST -
ENJOY YOUR TWO DAYS OF PUBLIC HOLIDAY, PEOPLE.
HEH. (=

2005-08-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

I AM EXHAUSTED AND I AM PISSED.

SKAFEST WAS OKAY. MISTAKEN PIRATES WERE GREAT. SALLY'S REJEX WERE GREAT TOO. WOOTS. IT WAS SCORCHING HOT, SERIOUSLY. TOOK LOADSA PICTURES, BUT I'M TOO TIRED AND TOO PISSED BEYOND DESCRIPTION TO UPLOAD THE PICS.

I LEFT EARLY AT 2130 BECAUSE MY FEET WERE KILLING ME AND I PROMISED MOM I WOULDN'T COME HOME LATE. SO YEAH.

NOW I THINK I'M DEVELOPING A FEVER. MY NOSE IS PUTTING ON RUNNING SHOES. WATERY STUFF COMING OUT. LIKE WATERFALL, OKAY. MY THROAT HURTS WHEN I SWALLOW AND I DON'T FEEL GOOD.

NOW I'M SERIOUSLY HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS. ITS HARD TO SAY LAH.

I NEED TO SLEEP ON IT. PISSED, OKAY. I AM SO EFFING PISSED.

2005-08-06T18:18:00.000+08:00

YAY SKAFEST IS TOMORROW!
I'm not performing, but i'm going there with them. (=
BUT I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR. Haish.

My Mom didn't say anything when i told her the gig ends at 11. Woots. And yeah, i got her permission to skip school on Monday and escape the torturous 3 hours of school. Pure boredom due to the extreme simplicity of the National Day Celebrations. So no thank you, i'd rather stay at home and watch Dora The Explorer which to me is the most lame children's programme ever after Sesame Street. And i don't think with the gig ending so late, that i'd be able to wake up at 5 to get ready for school. So yay for my mom! (=

Went jamming yesterday. After tuition. Believe it or not, i brought my mega huge and heavy keyboard along. And yes, i took the MRT to City Hall. So OBVIOUSLY, there were people who gave me inquisitive looks and people who don't know that STARING IS RUDE. And i think a Malay guy fell in love with my keyboard. He kept staring at the keyboard. Then at me. Smile smile. Then back at the keyboard. Then at me. Smile smile. Then back at the keyboard. You get the picture lah kan. I think if my keyboard was alive, he'd ask her to marry him right that instant. Sheeshness.

I reached home at 11 last night. It was spooky.. Considering all the ashes and the food left at the roadside. I practically had to sing out loud to Don't Lie to stop my brain from thinking of erm, some things. It was dark and there were not many vehicles and people in sight.
Dah ah. Tak nak balik malam2 lagi. Haha. Yeah right, Iqa. Sheesh.

So good luck to the people going to school on Monday! Endure, okay! (=
And even more good luck wishes to fellow schoolmates going to school wearing RED.

Are you sure you're celebrating National Day?
Not Christmas?

Hahahaha. Tak dilabel Christmas Tree tu dah kira okay, okay!

Imagine this. Red tee, green school skirt.
Christmas, here i come!
LoL.

Okay i'm being mean. Toodles!

2005-08-04T21:58:00.000+08:00

YOU GAIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME.

ITS LIKE A NEVER-ENDING CYCLE. ITS ALMOST LIKE A SCIENTIFIC FORMULA ALREADY. OR MAYBE A RECIPE OR A GUIDE TO SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE.

HAHA. WHATEVER.

OHH YES.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ZUL! (=

2005-08-01T18:06:00.000+08:00

LOL.
IS IT SO HARD TO GROW UP AND ACT YOUR AGE? I DIDN'T KNOW I'M LIVING IN A WORLD WHERE YOUNG ADULTS GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE NAMES JUST TO SPITE THAT PERSON. LOL. HOW IMMATURE CAN YOU GET AH SERIOUSLY?

HARAP JE UMUR DAH 15 TAHUN. PERANGAI MASIH MACAM BUDAK2. KEHAUSAN KASIH SAYANG SAMPAIKAN NAK CARI SIMPATI KAT SINI? YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG PLACE, MY FRIEND.

AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO LEAVE YOUR FUCKING NAME BEHIND. WHATS UP? I SUGGEST YOU GO BACK HOME AND DUDUK BAWAH KETIAK MAK OKAY?AND WHAT'S SO WEIRD IS THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN WAIT FOR TMR AND SAY WHAT YOU WANNA SAY TO MY FACE. WHY POLLUTE MY TAGBOARD? NAK CKP, CKP DEPAN2 AH.

ONCE A COWARD, ALWAYS A COWARD.

LOL. PEOPLE ARE SO WEIRD AH. WHAT THEY SAY IS SO CONTRADICTING. "DISSERS SHOULD DIE"? ERM OKAY.

THE SHAPE AND SIZE OF MY BODY OR THE UGLINESS OF MY FACE, FOR THAT MATTER IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. AKU GEMUK KE, KERING KE, BURUK KE, ADE SUSAHKAN KAU TAK? TAKDE KAN? JADI DIAM2 SUDAH AH K. DAH ALLAH BUAT AKU MACAM GINI, SO IN OTHER WORDS KAU NAK SALAHKAN ALLAH AH?

WHAT I JUST SAID IS BETWEEN YOU AND ALLAH. BUT RIGHT NOW, IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY, SAY IT TO MY FACE.

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I ALREADY APOLOGISED.
WHATEVER AH K.

replies tags :

SwEeeTkiSsEs - THANK YOU DARLING! *hugs back* (=
Diah - haha. yeahhh.. no use already. (=
AYIE citot - lol. ayie ingat makaaaan aje. yes yes i'll change it soon. malas ah! haha. (=
namira - ahhh nami. is it really YOU? if it is, then yeah i can't wait for our day out too! (=
uh me. - aww thanks. really really. THANKS. (=
dini* - hello! thanks thanks. nolah.. i'm just an ordinary someone. (=

2005-07-31T18:30:00.000+08:00

I GUESS ITS TRUE WHEN THEY SAY YOU ARE ONLY REMEMBERED BY YOUR NEGATIVE ACTIONS. THE POSITIVE ONES ARE FORGOTTEN JUST LIKE THAT.

AND YEAH, I'VE MADE A CONCLUSION - IT DOESN'T PAY TO BE KIND. SO EVERYBODY, LETS NOW BE MEAN TO EVERYBODY ELSE. *ROLLS EYES*

I'VE DECIDED ALSO TO FORGIVE AND FORGET. YEAH, MAYBE ITS FOR THE BEST.
TO YANA, I'M SINCERELY SORRY.

WELL YEAH, NOW I KNOW WHATS WRONG. I SERIOUSLY AM IN NEED OF AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT EH? BUT SERIOUSLY, IN SCHOOL, I CANNOT HELP BUT BE DISGUSTED BY SOME PEOPLE. THUS, THE DISGUSTED+I-HAVE-AN-ATTITUDE LOOK. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO THE BALD ONE AND THE SEC 2 MINAH MINACHIS. YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. SO YEAH, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I THROW PPL THAT ATTITUDE LOOK. I'LL TRY TO CHANGE THAT.

THEN IT COMES TO ONE THING; MY SARCASM. I CAN'T HELP THAT, YOU KNOW? IT COMES AS A PACKAGE ALONG WITH ME, MYSELF AND I. BUT, I'LL TRY MY ABSOLUTE BEST TO CHANGE THAT ALSO. MAYBE APPLYING SUPERGLUE ON MY LIPS MIGHT HELP.

MANY THANKS TO YANA FOR POINTING OUT ALL THIS. I'M VERY WILLING AND I'M TRYING TO CHANGE. THANKS AGAIN.

OKAY REALITY CHECK, MY BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR WASN'T AS GREAT AS BEFORE BUT AT LEAST IT TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON.
I GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE TO SMILE MORE. BUT NOT TO THE EXTENT THAT PEOPLE MIGHT THINK I'VE GONE CUCKOO, EYY. SMILING IS HARD WORK, OKEH! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES FROM THE HEART. =)

PSST, THE "IT DOESN'T PAY TO BE KIND" ISN'T TRUE, K.

EVERY MORNING, I TAKE THE LIFT DOWN WITH THIS WHEELCHAIR BOUND MALAY NENEK WITH HER DOMESTIC HELPER WHO LIVES ON THE 10TH FLOOR. AND I'D PRESS THE LIFT BUTTON OUTSIDE AS THE DOMESTIC HELPER PUSHES THE NENEK OUT AT THE FIRST STOREY. I HAVE A FETISH FOR HELPING OLD LADIES, ESPECIALLY MALAY ONES AS THEY REMIND ME OF MY OWN DARLING GRANDMOTHER. EACH TIME, THEY WOULD THANK ME AND I'D SMILE LIKE I MEAN IT. AND THEN, I'D FIND MYSELF FLOATING ON AIR AND MY PROBLEM-FILLED HEART FEELS AS LIGHT AS EVER.

SO THERE, I'M NOT BOASTING ABOUT HOW NICE I CAN BE, OKAY?
I'M JUST SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD DO A GOOD DEED ONCE IN A WHILE. THE FEELING AFTER DOING ONE IS UNDESCRIBABLE. YOUR HEART WILL LITERALLY FEEL LIGHTER.

AND THATS WHY I GO TO SCHOOL WITH A SATISFIED SMILE PLASTERED ON MY FACE. BUT UPON REACHING SCHOOL, BLEURGH. EVERYTHING TURNS SOUR LIKE FOOD GONE BAD. BLAH. SHEESHNESS.

COME ON YOU TROUBLED PEOPLE, YOU. DO A GOOD DEED OKAY! YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN. =)

2005-07-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

OKAY FIRST AND FOREMOST, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER AND ATHIRAH! =)

AND AND AND A NOT-SO-HAPPY ONE FOR ME. THIS WAS HOW IT WENT.

AT 12 MIDNIGHT, I RECEIVED A PHONECALL. I DIDN'T RECOGNISE THE NUMBER.

HER : HELLO? IQA ADE?
ME : ERM YEAH? SAPE NIE?
HER : FIRST OF ALL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
ME : ERR THANKS. SAPE NIE?!
HER : HAHA! TAKUT EH?

AND GUESS WHO? NONE OTHER THAN COVERGIRL LYNN! THANKS SO MUCH FOR REMEMBERING! AND THE SURPRISE PHONE CALL AT MIDNIGHT WAS SUPER SWEET. THANKS LYNN! LOVE YA, OKAY? =) I LIKE YOUR VOICE LAH! LOL. AND I HAD A GREAT TIME TALKING TO YOU! =D

AFTER A WHILE, LYNN HAD TO GO. WE HUNG UP AFTER ONE AMAZING CONVERSATION AT 1245. SHE OOZES SWEETNESS. =)
SO THEN, I THOUGHT OF GOING TO SLEEP. MY EYES WERE ALREADY CLOSED WHEN MY PHONE RANG AGAIN. THE CALLER WAS NONE OTHER THAN ZUL. HE WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND WE TALKED UNTIL 2AM.. *widest smile*

THEN, SMSES STARTED COMING IN SO I DIDN'T GET TO SLEEP ONLY UNTIL 4AM. AND BY 5AM, I WAS ALREADY UP.

AT 645AM, DEE WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY. AND OMG THIS GIRL IS SO SWEET! =)

WENT TO SCHOOL.
IF I DON'T WANT TO BUY A CLASS TEE, IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M BEING A BITCH. I'M JUST BOYCOTTING THE PEOPLE WHO TREAT ME LIKE SHIT. MOREOVER, I'M OUT OF CASH. MY FAMILY'S NOT AS RICH AS YOURS OKAY? YOU JUST HAVE TO ASK FOR MONEY, AND IT COMES FLOWING TO YOU. SHEESHNESS. I'M POSITIVELY SURE IF YOU'RE IN MY SHOES, YOU'D DO THE SAME. AND BTW, I DON'T THINK THIS "FAT UGLY MONSTER" CAN FIT INTO THAT BOGUS CLASS TEE OF YOURS.

LETS SING TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR! BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANT TO GROW UP AND LEAVE THOSE KINDERGARTEN DAYS BEHIND. COME ON AH. RESORT TO NAME-CALLING AT THE AGE OF FIFTEEN? WHAT FUCK?

SEE, I TOLD YOU I'M FAT AND UGLY. ITS ALL PROVEN NOW, ISN'T IT?

YEAH. THIS HAPPENED ON THE DAY WHEN I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY TURNING FIFTEEN.
GO FIGURE~

MANY MANY THANKS TO PEOPLE WHO REMEMBERED AND WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY -
[ schoolmates, dearest sha*, shaaa-, ayie, ayumi and the list goes on.]
THANKS MUCH!

2005-07-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

I CAN'T SLEEP. STILL PONDERING ON WHETHER I SHOULD ATTEND SCHOOL TOMORROW. SCHOOL JUST SIMPLY SUCKS, YOU KNOW?

I'M COMPLETELY, FILTHILY BROKE RIGHT NOW.

HERE'S THE CONVY I HAD WITH MY MOM. SORRY, BUT ITS IN MALAY.

MOM : TIDO BRAPE JAM TADI?
ME : 2 AJE AH. ASAL?
MOM : ABEH KENAPE MUKA SEMBAP?

I KEPT QUIET.

MOM : NANGIS LAGI EH? GADUH DENGAN SAPE PULAK NI?
ME : TAKDELAH. MANE ADE.

THEN I WALKED AWAY. A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE FROM FURTHER INTERROGATION.

MY EYES ARE STILL RED EVEN UNTIL NOW. EVEN THOUGH ITS BEEN 10 HOURS SINCE THE WATERWORKS. AHHH MY EYES HURT.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, MY TUTOR-CUM-COUSIN OWES ME A TREAT AT SWENSEN'S BECAUSE I MANAGED TO SCORE BETTER THAN EXPECTED FOR MATHS COMMON TEST. HE'LL PRETEND TO FORGET, I KNOW.

WHY DON'T I FEEL THE SLIGHTEST BIT HAPPY AT ALL?
AHH SCHOOL SUCKS.

replies to tags :

Lola - i don't feel happy at all. no smiles, no nothing. ahhhhh.
Shaaa* - alot of undesirable guests are visiting my blog. thanks in advance!

2005-07-28T16:27:00.000+08:00

I'M CLOSING DOWN MY BLOG SOON.

SCHOOL SUCKS.
I'M CONSIDERING WHETHER I SHOULD ATTEND SCHOOL TMR.

OKAY BYE.

2005-07-27T22:34:00.000+08:00

LETS UPDATE FOR THE SAKE OF UPDATING OKEH? I'M TIRED LAH. LIKE REALLY.
I JUST GOT HOME FROM JAM SESSION WITH MISTAKEN PIRATES AT CITY HALL. FROM 1830 TO 2030. I'M STILL ON TRIAL, WHICH MEANS THAT I'M NOT CONFIRMED AS A MEMBER YET. SO MOST PROLLY I'M NOT GOING FOR SKA FEST ON THE 7TH.

TIRING LAH.. AND THERE'S SCHOOL TOMORROW! WHICH ADDS IN TO ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERINGS. CHEY.

OKAY I WANNA SLEEP ALREADY. EXHAUSTED AH.

replies to tags :

MiK - haha tak payah. =)
SwEeeTkiSsEs - thanks! i'll do that too. =)
PrInCeSs aZiE - memang SELALU tak betul.. haha.
Diah - haish. yeahhh. thank you! =)
Covergirl - i wanna cook her in curry. lol. i'm okay. *hugs back* =)
NaNaChiCa - eh dah back?! hehe thanks! =)
Iqah - hello iqa! thanks! wahh so many iqas already.. lol.

2005-07-25T15:20:00.000+08:00

A FUCKER STOLE MY BARELY A MONTH OLD WALLET TODAY. THAT FUCKER DISCARDED MY ATM CARD AND MY EZ LINK AT A STAIRCASE AND TOOK MY WALLET AND $15 IN CASH. AND OH, THAT FUCKER ALSO TOOK MY MOVIE TICKETS AND AN EMPTY CASHCARD. STUPID SIAL.

THAT WALLET IS FUCKING EXPENSIVE OKAY? AND IT HAS SENTIMENTAL VALUE, YOU FUCKER. WHAT AM I GONNA TELL MY MOM? FUCK YOU FOR STEALING SOMETHING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME. I LOVE MY WALLET OKAY? FUCK YOU LAH.

I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU'RE IN NEED OF MONEY AND IF YOU'RE REALLY POOR AND NEED FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE. THAT MONEY IS MINE, FUCKER. I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THE FOOD THAT YOU BOUGHT WITH MY MONEY AND MAY YOU DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH THIS YEAR. 2 OF MY CLASSMATES' WALLETS WERE ALSO STOLEN. FUCK SIAL.

IF I FIND OUT WHO STOLE MY WALLET, I'LL LITERALLY SKIN THAT PERSON ALIVE AND GIVE THAT FUCKER A PIECE OF MY MIND. FUCK LAAAAAAAA.
SO NOW I'M IN NEED OF A NEW WALLET. BUT IT WOULDN'T BE THE SAME! THE SENTIMENTAL VALUE IS GONE. UGHS. I'LL PROBABLY BUY A NEW ONE BY THE END OF THE WEEK. =(

I'M TOTALLY BROKE NOW. THAT $15 WAS ALL I HAD UNTIL THE END OF THE WEEK. LUCKILY THAT FUCKER DIDN'T TAKE MY ATM CARD. MY SAVINGS ARE STILL SAFE. AND AT TIMES LIKE THIS, I THANK GOD THAT I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY I.C YET.

I FUCKING HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST THAT FUCKER RIGHT NOW.

replies to tags.

Lola - haha. yeah. thanks. tc too!
Covergirl - i'm not sure how to add archives ah. my entries aren't that interesting lah.. =)
MiK - haha. ape je.
SwEeeTkiSsEs - haha. yeah! fun eh.
o.o - very true.
PrInCesS aZiE - yeah. yeo cheng feng. benci seh.
syiqin - nope. no kidding. hahahaha.

2005-07-22T19:15:00.000+08:00

WHATS WITH PREFECTS NOWADAYS?
NOT JUST ANY PREFECTS, BUT KRANJI SECONDARY SCHOOL'S PREFECTS.
SOME OF THEM ARE JUST PLAIN CORRUPTED, SOME ARE BOOTLICKERS WHO SUCK UP TO THE D.M AND SOME WHO SEEM TO BE ON PERMANENT PMS. YES, GUYS INCLUDED.
OF COURSE, NOT ALL ARE LIKE THAT. I KNOW SOME WHO ARE MORE LAID BACK. SO, DON'T BE OFFENDED IF YOU'RE NOT LIKE THEM OKAY?

OKAY HERE'S THE THING. NOWADAYS, EVERYWHERE YOU GO, PREFECTS WILL YELL "PUT ON YOUR NAMETAGS!". PERSONALLY, I THINK THEY SHOULD GET A TAPE RECORDER AND RECORD THEM YELLING THAT PARTICULAR SENTENCE BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY THING THEY SEEM TO BE SAYING. -__-
AND IF WE'RE SPOTTED WITHOUT A NAMETAG, SOME NICER ONES WILL JUST GIVE A GENTLE REMINDER WHILE THE MORE "GILA PANGKAT" WILL REPORT US TO HIGHER AUTHORITIES. CHEY. I NOTICED THAT SOME OF THE SEC 3 PREFECTS ARE WORKING EXTRA HARD IN FINDING FAULT WITH US. AND I THINK THIS IS JUST A PLOY TO GET THEM ON THE RUN FOR VICE HEAD AND HEAD PREFECT. SHEESHNESS!

HONESTLY, THATS NOT THE REASON WHY I HATE THEM. I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT WHO'S GOING TO BE VICE HEAD AND HEAD PREFECT. HERE'S THE ACTUAL REASON -

MY CLASS HAD TO DO CANTEEN DUTY FOR CIP SINCE MONDAY. TODAY, DUE TO STUPID CIRCUMSTANCES, WE HAVE TO CONTINUE DOING THEM NEXT WEEK.

I HATE Y.C.F. WE DID OUR CANTEEN DUTY TODAY. AND THEN HE WENT "ARE YOU SURE THE CANTEEN IS CLEAN?!" WE SAID YES. AND THEN HE SHOUTED "THEN WHAT IS THIS?!!"
OKAY, GUESS WHAT HE WAS HOLDING?

ONE FUCKING STRAW.
AND OVER THAT ONE STRAW, HE WENT BALLISTIC.
LETS SAY THIS TOGETHER NOW, WTF?!
HE'S ONLY A VICE PREFECT FOR GOD'S SAKE. THE HEAD PREFECT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, OKAY? HONESTLY, THIS IS STUPID. IF THE CANTEEN HAS TO BE SPICK AND SPAN, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE LEFTOVER FOOD ON THE TABLE? EAT THEM? AND WHAT ABOUT LICKED CHICKEN BONES? PICK THEM UP WITH OUR HANDS?! SHEESHNESS.
I DON'T THINK MY PARENTS PAID SCHOOL FEES FOR ME TO CLEAN UP AFTER PEOPLE. I'M NO SERVANT. AND STUDENTS, KNOWING THAT THERE'S SUCH THING AS CANTEEN DUTY, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION AND LEAVE THE UTENSILS AFTER EATING.

SERIOUSLY, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW. [PUN INTENDED]
OVER THAT ONE STRAW, MY CLASS HAS TO DO ANOTHER WEEK OF CANTEEN DUTY. IF HE CAN MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL OVER THAT STRAW, I CAN ALSO MAKE A BIGGER DEAL OUT OF THIS. WHO'S THE ONE WHO STARTED ALL THIS?

THE STUPID IDIOTIC ASSHOLE WHO LEFT THE STRAW THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I STILL HATE Y.C.F NONETHELESS.
I CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT HE GOT SO WORKED UP OVER ONE STRAW!
SHEESHNESS.

2005-07-20T20:50:00.000+08:00

I NEVER KNEW 'FRIEND' IS JUST A SIX LETTER WORD.
I NEVER KNEW 'SORRY' WAS AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

UNTIL TODAY.

AND I NEVER KNEW IT WOULD HURT THIS BAD.

I WISH TOMORROW NEVER COMES.

*************

replies to tags :

diy*ana - aww thanks dee. yeah it sucks feeling like this. thanks much k? <3
Diah - yeah. but its really difficult ah. haish. thanks neway..
Passerby - okay i think i know who you are. perasaan "syg" kepada 'insan' lain tu dah lama bertukar kepada perasaan syg seorang teman. tak lebih dari tu. i've long forgotten about everything. i hope you will too..

2005-07-19T14:47:00.000+08:00

SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S IN A FRIENDSHIP?
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

REALLY, TELL ME.
WHAT IS BEING A FRIEND ALL ABOUT?

I'M SICK OF PRETENDING THAT EVERYTHING'S FINE. EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE. EVERYTHING IS JUST ONE BIG HOAX. PEOPLE SAY ONE THING TO YOUR FACE, AND ANOTHER ONCE YOUR BACK IS TURNED. I DON'T GET IT. I REALLY DON'T. AND WTF IS WITH PEOPLE WHO PRETEND TO BE NICE AND DISS YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK?

I'M SICK OF FEELING INSECURE AND INFERIOR TO EVERYONE ELSE.
ITS DIFFICULT WHEN PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE CONSTANTLY PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE DOWN. AND YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER IF THEY TALK ABT YOU IN THIS MANNER WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY?
THATS BULLSHIT.

FRIENDS FOR LIFE?
EVEN A BIGGER BULLSHIT; COMING FROM SOMEONE LIKE YOU.

I HATE SCHOOL.
I HATE YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU.
HAPPY NOW?

I CAN GO CRAZY, OKAY?

And now my computer is infested with virus. I accidentally reposted Kay's bulletin at friendster. God, i feel stupid. Sorry much, Kay.

***********
replies to tags :

PrInCeSs aZiE - thanks for flooding. you rock too.
uh me - yeah. one fine day.
AYIE citot - err i don't really like pink. it just goes well with black and white.
SwEeeTkiSsEs - =)
Diah - don't close down. and yesterday's post doesn't involve you in any way at all. keep on tagging.
akako - thanks. your url not found btw.
Lola - yeah we have to. haish.
Passerby - and you are...? yeah its 10 days away. thanks anyway. AND OMG HOW DID YOU KNOW ABT LAST YEAR? tell me who you are, pls?

2005-07-18T17:11:00.000+08:00

I FEEL AS THOUGH I DON'T HAVE THE FREEDOM TO BLOG ABT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AT ALL.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

CAKAP SALAH, TAK CAKAP PUN SALAH.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.
ANYONE AND EVERYONE.

IF HAVING A BLOG RESTRICTS ME FROM POINTING OUT MY VIEWS, WHATS THE POINT OF HAVING ONE?

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AH SERIOUSLY.

I'M SICK PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.

WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY?

2005-07-13T18:43:00.000+08:00

Its bewildering how sometimes you just lose everything you've got.
I feel used. I feel cheated.
Whuddahell.

Nothing much happened today.

*screams* MY PANASONIC MP3 IS SPOILT! GRR. =(
AND THE BATTERY COMPARTMENT FOR THE CREATIVE MP3 IS BROKEN.
DISFIGURED ALREADYYYY!
ALAHHH HOW? =(

Haish. Anyways, i uploaded my most recent pic already. *points to the right*
There'll be even more intensive rehearsals from now on. DOUBLE HAISH. =(

Lyrics of the song playing.

can i just be something, somewhere in your room
that you wont notice
maybe i'll be paper or books thrown on your floor
move me when you want to
i'll live where you put me
in your VCR, if i become a cassette
or on top of your computer, if thats where i would fit
then so be it

but things can't be perfect all the time - that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go

i will not say one word
i'll just hang around, i wont annoy you at all
when you move out i'll stay, until i'm thrown away
but then it wont matter

things can't be perfect all the time - that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
because things can't be perfect all the time - that i know
sometimes we just have to let somethings go

i promise to stop now, to stop now
i promise to stop now, to stop now
but things can't be perfect all the time - that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
things can't be perfect all the time - that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
letting go is my life, i'll be on my way

2005-07-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

GUESS WHAT?
I COMPLETELY SCREWED UP MY MALAY ORAL. I WAS STAMMERING WITH ALL THE "ERR AND ERM"S. AHHHHH. SO NOW I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONFIDENCE OF GETTING AN A1 FOR MALAY 'O'S. AND SINCE I WAS TOO COMFORTABLE WITH USING ABIT OF MALAY AND ABIT OF ENGLISH WHEN CONVERSING, i messed up. BEKALAN ELEKTRIK BECAME ELECTRICITY. PENGGANTI BECAME SUBSTITUTE. SO NOW, AM I DEAD OR AM I DEAD? AHHHHH AND I THINK I SPENT THE LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME IN THE ROOM. ALAAAAH THIS IS SO WORRYING.

Mr Ong was the time keeper. We were supposed to read the passage for five minutes while waiting for our turn. And most of the girls, including myself, got distracted by his oh-so-cute good looks. Yeah, he was the source of distraction for me. JUST TO POINT THIS OUT, NOOOOO I AM NOT CRUSHING ON A TEACHER. =)

Today was okay i guess. Except for the whole i-think-i'm-gonna-fail-my-oral thing. AHHH THIS IS SO GIVING ME PRESSURE. My mom's being adamant about me having to get at least an A1. And Mr Zainal said that nobody has ever gotten less than an A2 for Malay before. Err am i gonna be the first one to make history? ALAHHH.

I'm supposed to be doing Maths right now. But i ran out of graph paper. And the shops are closed already. So moral of the story; do NOT do your homeworks at night.

And oooooh, i just received a letter from ICA even though my birthday is in 3 weeks time. I'm supposed to register and apply for an IC. LoL.. BARU nak dapat eh. =/

My bed's calling out to me.
Lets hop into bed [hopefully tak roboh] and visit LaLa Land again okay?

2005-07-11T21:50:00.000+08:00

Replies to tags :

Diah - yeah okay. thanks! =)
Trisya - hello! thanks for tagging.. u tc too okay? =)
TwEeTy - LoL. miss ur tags too. haha. okay shh.. =)
nicole =) - waste space? no no. u're welcome to tag. tc too! =)

Yeah. New layout. A very very simple one. Spent approximately 45 minutes to get everything done..
Nice? Err not? You decide uh k. Personally, i don't really like this one since it appears to be too simple for me. And there's PINK. I got inspiration for the colour combination from my wallet, actually. I like pink only when it goes alongside black. =)

Entry proof given out! Sitting for my malay oral tomorrow. =/

These past few days' chronicle of events really made me feel down and out. At this point of time, i really see the advantages of being mute and deaf. I don't wanna say the wrong things and hear what i'm actually not supposed to hear. Sometimes, IGNORANCE IS BLISS. Words that come out from my mouth seem to have a mind of their own. I never stopped to think before i say what i have in mind. So now you may ask, why i don't feign ignorance. The reason is simple; i can't bring myself to.

Cakap salah, tak cakap pun salah.
Lebih baik jadi orang bisu kan?
Ditelan mati ibu, diluah mati ayah.
So tell me, what next?

Kelakuan manusia memang sukar untuk ditafsirkan. Inikah yang dinamakan MANUSIA? Tidak lari dari membuat kesilapan di luar kesedaran.

PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. Why make a mountain out of a molehill?

Okay i'm going out of point already.
I'M SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG..
*sigh*

2005-07-09T20:43:00.000+08:00

Okay i'm trying hard to direct my thoughts to something else. Really hard.

What i did today? Had a conference call with Yana and Iqah, planning for the outing. Yeah, so everything is planned. We'll just have another conference call later to confirm everything.
Then i got bored. So i decided to get out of the house.

And oh, before that, i managed to iron abg's black slacks and tee shirt in record time! Woots. *whispers* Bcos i'm usually slow at ironing. Shhh. Don't tell anyone okay?

So, guess where i went? If you got this correct, it means you love me. =)
I went to the library. Borrowed books. Then i returned the vids that my brother rented. And now i'm at home.

your "friendship", the good times we had - you can have them back.

I need time to think and contemplate.
So leave me alone and stand behind the yellow line for the moment okay?

2005-07-08T18:20:00.000+08:00

Replies to tags :

Diah - LOL. thanks. mine biase je laah. ur language is better.. =)
SwEeetKiSsEs - haha. yeah trust no one! except some uh. haha. =P
uh me. - sorry? for what?
AYIE citot - LOL. finger lickin' good eh? =P my language biase je lah.. urs better! =)
Lola - kakaaaak! i'll tag soon k? and whatever it is, i still envy ur language.. =)
tEe - yeah! thats so true. i'll try to ignore these kinda ppl. =) take care too!

Constipated? Try drinking a concoction of vanilla coke, grape and ice lemon tea. I tried it yesterday [i wasn't constipated] and now i get repeated calls from mother nature. So i didn't attend school today. Made a trip to the polyclinic just now. The doctor was in a rush and i quickly told him i was having diarrheoa and my stomach hurts. He prescribed me medicine for stomach wind. WTF? I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH MY VERY FREQUENT TOILET TRIPS AND I SERIOUSLY DON'T THINK I HAVE EXCESSIVE GAS IN MY STOMACH. SHEESHNESS. I was oblivious to the fact that he gave the wrong prescription until the pharmacist was explaining what each medicine was for.

Here's the thing about having a shared computer in your room. You have to let [even if grudgingly letting] people you don't know into your room. Yeah, so now my brother's friend has seen how messy my room is. Sheeshness. Nobody comes when my room is spick and span. They only come when my room is horrendously messy. And yeah, when i came home from the polyclinic, i noticed that my CLASS PHOTO wasnt in its original position. Maybe alot of other stuffs wasnt in its original position too but i only noticed my class photo because it was highly notice-able.
What does this mean eh, abang? *wonders* Haha. So how? My friends are pretty kan? LoL.

I'm envious of people who already changed their blogskins. I DON'T HAVE PHOTOSHOP ANYMORE AND MY BRAIN IS SERIOUSLY LACKING OF CREATIVE JUICES.

UNLESS.......

a kind-hearted soul out there is willing to make one for me.
Please? Hahaha.
Bear in mind how naturally cerewet i am before you willingly agree okeh?
LoL.

2005-07-06T21:24:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered why people lie? No rhyme nor reason and poof, you realise that everything is just one BIG lie.

Some people lie due to their desire to fit in. While some, just simply make up blatant lies to get revenge. Harsh, but it happens..

Sometimes i can't help but wonder if what someone says is true. Its hard to trust ANYONE these days. Trust plays a huge factor in maintaining friendship, but if your purpose of having me as a friend is all WRONG, give me one good reason as to why i should trust you. I've had my fair share of being taken advantaged of. These people say one thing to my face and say another behind my back. Basically, they befriend me only when they need help. And then, they will resort to the oldest trick in the book - FLATTERY. Flattery doesn't get you anywhere, my dearest. I agree to help because i'm sincere in helping. Don't tell me you seriously thought i was taken in by your honeyed, sugar-coated words? Sheesh. PUH-LEASE okay?

Thankfully, not ALL my friends are like that. =)

And and and, this brings me to the second issue. Ever been in a situation whereby someone completely ignores you? And then you'll go "WHAT NOW?!" and get all paranoid, helplessly trying to figure out what in the world that you did which led to this cold-shoulder treatment. Its pretty depressing sometimes. Especially when the friendship means oh-so-much to you.

COME ON. TELL ME WHAT I DID! I PROMISE I WON'T CRY AND HIDE BEHIND MOMMY. PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE?

Its hard trying to figure out my mistake.
I'm more than willing to change, you know?
And pls don't say "Alah, maybe that person is busy"
*covers ears and eyes*
Taknak dengaaaaaaaaaaar!

Fine lah, fine. Ignore lah okay? See if i care.

Alaaaaah jangan ignore laaaaa. Boleh gila tau?

Contradicting, i know.
Face it, Nuratiqah Musa.
Sheeshness.

2005-07-05T20:15:00.000+08:00

Replies to tags :

PrInCeSs aZiE - yeah she does.. =)
AYIE citot - LoL! so moral of d story, flood my tagboard so u'll get both colours. hahah. =P
*huda - miss you too! =)
Lola - yeah, actress. pretty kaan.. eheh. =)
Diah - LoL! a'ah eh. tak perasan uh..
eZa-DoLL - alah i got no pics.. sorry eh.
Covergirl - LoL! don't picture meeeee. and thanks for complimenting d cocktail. =D

School's fine. Nothing much to update about actually.
And yeah, planned for another outing with the girls. In commemoration of something lah. =)
But i won't get my hopes up too high.
Bcos from past experiences, when your hopes are too high, you'll fall in disappointment.. Plans will remain as plans. So yeah, really hope this one goes well though. =)
And oh, just to add this one in.
I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY ONE THING AND MEAN THE OTHER. Sheesh.

2005-07-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

I just typed a super long entry and my computer hanged. Sheesh..

Okay replies to taggers.

Lola - LOL. thanks. I MISS YOUUU TOO!
Diahbeetch - oops sorry! typo! and yeah, the feeling sucks kan. haish.
AYIE citot - LOL. confusing eh! and the colours striking kaaan? haha.
eZa-DoLL - aww thanks. but u're sweeter k? love you loads too. mwahs.
kymah - thanks. haha. i'll try okay.. =)

The wedding was fine. Very kecoh lah. Kak Nura here, Auntie Nura there, Nura everywhere. Haha..
And yeah, apparently, according to my cousins, my nephew has the hots for me. Rian Haziq. We were sitting at the playground and he plucked a leaf and gave it to me. LOL. Cute kaaaaan? And yeah, he told my cousins that he thinks i'm prettier than them. Hahaha. Kids.

Kak Len looked stunningly gorgeous just now. =)

There were alot of "Mats Bawah Block". They wolf-whistle and everything. Super merepek lah..
And there was this one guy who kept staring. MY RELATIVE. Ape jeee. Tapi kan, okay lah. Not that bad looking. Hahahahahahaha. Okay i'm tired already. More pics SOON lah okay? =)

Rendra & Shalenny. =)

2005-07-02T12:45:00.000+08:00

Right. Lets update shall we?

School was a-okay yesterday. Changed our time table. AGAIN.
Got home, chatted with Ayie. Then got ready to meet Nami. Yada yada yada. We went to Woodlands and talked. Yeah, as if we couldn't talk elsewhere. Wth?
So neways, what she said kinda got to me yesterday. No elaborations needed uh eh. Since i WAS feeling very shitty yesterday..

You know sometimes when hypocrisy is just so piss-ifying? You never know how one person feels towards you FOR SURE. One day she's nice and the other she talks behind your back. Wtf? Trust me, it sucks being in this situation. Like one time, someone's talking TO you about somebody else. And another, that someone's talking ABOUT you to somebody else. It sucks lah not knowing who you can trust. Right now, i don't even know if i can trust the person who has always been there for me. After what she kinda did, i'm not so sure.

So now i'm stuck. I don't know what to do and how i feel about certain things. Haha.

Okay i got to go get ready now. My cousin's getting married tmr. So i'll be busy helping out today and tmr. Expect pics okay? Hahahaha.

Heard that my tagboard rosak. Sth wrong with cbox i think..

Okay i really got to go. My mom's on my case already.. And yeah i love saying "okay".
DOUBLE OKAY! Hahahaha. Okay mepek.
Bear with me and my "okay"s lah k? =)

2005-06-28T21:05:00.000+08:00

No one's tagging. Starting to have second thoughts abt having a blog. I'm thinking of closing it dowwwn and move permanently to eljay.

School was fine. Found out that i'm 2cm taller now. Haha. Gembiraaaaa ria. So its 160 now.
Neways, got home earlier than expected since most of us didnt have to attend English IP coaching. Waited for Nami to finish her English essay with the girls. Then got separated with the rest so it was only me and Nami. I got questioned about my hair colour when i walked past the staff room to look for Ms Foo. Erm okay. Yada yada yada.

At home, i got bored. So i decided to do a trial run before the actual practical. I made ice jelly. Hahahahaha. After making the jelly, i asked Mom out. We went to West Mall to get the wallet i've been wanting since forever. I chose a new-er design though. PRETTAY~

Went home. Got pissed by a stupid ATM machine on the way home. So now i'm broke. COMPLETELY.

So at home, served my ice jelly. Mom said it tastes better than the one she makes. LOL.
Okay if you noticed that i sound kinda different, good for you.
I don't feel like talking much actually. Typing also.
Okay so lets look at pictures, shall we?

readers, meet my b.u.m wallet. its blaaaaaaaaack!=D

this is her. from the side.

okay this is my version. i don't like fruit cocktail. =/

made with tender lovin care by yours truly. =)

ookeh this is me and my mom. my hair was tied up. which explains the jendul. =)

Okay thats all for today. I have loads more. But i can't be bothered to resize and upload.
No mood lah okay?

2005-06-27T20:33:00.000+08:00

Reached home from school at 7pm. I had Digital Art class at school. So yeah. School was okay laaaa.. Had alot of laughs. =)

Okay here comes something piss-ifying.

THERE'S A CHANGE IN THE TIMETABLE. AND MY CLASS HAVE IP COACHING ALMOST EVERYDAYYY! WHICH ALSO MEANS I AM ONLY OFFICIALLY DISMISSED FROM SCHOOL AT 1630 ALMOST EVERYDAY! WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF. MY TIMETABLE SUCKS. SERIOUSLY. MY CLASS IS ONLY DISMISSED EARLY ON MONDAY. BUT I WONT BE COMING HOME EARLY SINCE I HAVE DIGITAL ART ON MONDAY. THANK GOD MY FRIENDS ARE IN THE SAME DIGITAL ART CLASS. OR ELSE I'LL DIE OF BOREDOM. AAAAAAHHH!

LATE DISMISSAL = LESS TIME AT HOME = STRESS, STRESS AND MORE STRESS.

AND TO MAKE THINGS WORST, WE'LL HAVE TO FOLLOW THIS TIMETABLE FOR A WHOLE semester. SO DON'T DREAM ABOUT REACHING ME AT HOME IN THE AFTERNOONS FROM NOW ONWARDS. I'LL BE BUSY AT school. THE LAST PLACE I EVER WANNA BE. AAAAAAAAHHHH! PISSIFYING KAAAAAAN?!

AND AND AND. I JUST GOT TO KNOW THAT US HIGHER MALAY STUDENTS WILL BE TAKING OUR GCE O LEVEL MALAY ORAL WITHIN THIS COMING THREE WEEKS. AND THE THOUGHT OF IT ALREADY SCARES THE SHIT OUTTA ME. MALAY HANCUUUUUUR OKAY?

"ARE YOU PEKAK OR WHAT?"
"JANGAN FORGET PASAL TMR OKAY?"

SEE WHAT I MEAN? ALAHHHHH. I HATE LATE DISMISSALS. I'LL MISS MY BED AND MY COMPUTER. =(
AND ALAHHH ORAL COMING! HOW HOW HOW?!

*testing* SAYA DIHARAPKAN SUPAYA BERTUTUR DALAM BAHASA MELAYU SECARA BAKU! TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

LISAN SAYA TIDAK BEGITU MEMBERANGSANGKAN.
SO TELL ME, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EVEN PASS? =/

2005-06-26T14:16:00.000+08:00

Right. So i've been doing a whole lot of thinking lately. And a whole lot of whining, to say the least. =/
Talked to quite a number of people. My Mom, Sha and Nami bout alot of things. Talked to Sha and Nami about the whole friendster issue. And like finally, i realised that whether or not i edit my pictures is my own fcuking problem. It has NOTHING to do with her. Nil. Nada. Zip. Zilch. And its not as if i photoshop-ed my pictures and put someone else's nose or mouth or eyes on my face. So i guess she has to deal with my pictures whether she likes it or not. And on my part, i'm trying to stop editting my pictures. Yeah, and letting her get to me was a big no-no. Many many thanks to Sha and Nami. To Sha especially, thank you for that suggestion. =D

I'm gonna do a little bit of reflection here. So bear with me kay?
I guess most of you know about how self-conscious i am. About my looks especially. And how much i loveeeee putting myself down. Thing is, this is not about yearning for compliments or whatever shit you call it. This whole thing is about my scarred self-confidence and my lack of self-acceptance. Ppl keep telling me how looks aren't important and its the inside that counts. But really, wake up and smell the coffee. Almost everyone is being judged by their looks nowadays. Okay for example, if you go for job interviews. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THE PASSPORT SIZED PHOTOS ARE FOR? For fun and laughter, peace and joy?! Okay i may be wrong. Only God knows lah okay? But my point is, everyone loves pretty things and pretty people. Even NON-LIVING THINGS get judged by their exterior and not their quality. Then what about people? We get judged ALOT. Pls don't tell me everyone's like that. I know not everyone's like that. I've gone through alot. Being judged and having insults hurled at you like nobody's business. Come on uh. My childhood's not exactly perfect okay?
And i know its about time i realise all this. But you know, i'm considered lucky. I'm NORMAL. I don't have any deficiencies and i have all 5 senses working perfectly. I have a wonderful family, a doting grandmother and relatives. AND PEOPLE WHO CARES.
Everything happens for a reason, right? And like what people always tell me "its their lost if they can't see the real you." How true is this? You tell me okay? As cliched as it may sound, its kinda true to me.
And like what i told the I-HAVE-A-BOYFRIEND-AND-YOU-DONT girl, it doesnt matter to me that i don't have a boyfriend. Nothing lasts forever, remember? =)

Want a non-editted picture?

This is NON-EDITTED. Except for the resizing. And i can't help it that i look different in pictures. Come to my house early in the morning while i'm still asleep to see the natural no edits, no nothing okay? Sheesh. Jgn cerewet lah. I'm ugly, no? Tell me something i don't already know. Hahahahaha. I know, i know. There i go again~ *shoots self* K dah. Bye.

2005-06-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

I DELETED MY PICTURES IN FRIENDSTER. AND I UPDATED MY PROFILE.
STILL THINKING OF DELETING MY ACCOUNT.
WHY AM I LETTING HER GET TO ME?
BCOS SHE USED TO BE A FRIEND.

2005-06-24T13:25:00.000+08:00

SOMEONE I DIDN'T KNOW ADDED ME IN MSN. TOLD ME TO KEEP MY COMMENTS TO MYSELF. REMEMBER MY ENTRY ON JUNE 21ST? THE ONE REGARDING POSEURS AND MATS AND MINAHS? YEAH. THAT SOMEONE WAS offended.

IN CASE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW, THIS IS my BLOG. ALL MINE. YOU DON'T DECIDE for ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT BLOG ABOUT.
IN FACT, WHAT I BLOGGED ABT THAT DAY WAS true. NO LIES WHATSOEVER. SERIOUSLY, JUST LOOK AROUND FRIENDSTER. YOU'LL FIND AT LEAST THREE PROFILE STATING THEY'RE A RASTA GIRL, ROXY GIRL AND THAT THEY "DETEST" MATS AND MINAHS EVEN THOUGH THEY FIT THE CRITERIA OF A TYPICAL MAT OR MINAH. CONTRADICTING, DON'T YOU THINK SO? AND THERE ARE OH-SO-MANY ROXY GIRLS, RASTA GIRLS, QUIK BOIS AND WHATEVER SHIT THEY CALL THEMSELVES.

YOU CAN ALWAYS GET YOUR OWN BLOG. =)

ALAH, THIS "SOMEONE" DIDN'T EVEN WANNA REVEAL WHO/WHAT THE HECK HE/SHE/IT IS. SHEESH.

OFFENDED? YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOMED TO LEAVE, YOU KNOW? YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATIONS TO BE HERE. UNLESS SOMEONE IS HOLDING A KNIFE TO YOUR NECK. IF THAT'S THE CASE, staaaaaaaay!
STILL NOT HAPPY? I STILL HAVE SPACE IN MY MSN CONTACTS LIST, DON'T WORRY. =)

********

Sometimes life just gives you what you don't want. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of everything and i'm sick of you. Nobody has any idea how much i feel like screaming right now. See, i have my own problems to think about. Don't add to it. Laughter's the best medicine? I wish it was that easy.

My temperature's going up and down.

I feel like dying, you know?

2005-06-22T14:22:00.000+08:00

Good afternoon. My homeworks are still not done. I still haven't figure out what to cook. Ms Foo is going to kill me for sure on Monday. And yeah, just like in the movies, a superhero will come and save me. Preferably Tom Welling pls. Hahahaha. Okay i need to wake up. *slaps self*

Alot of backstabbing occuring around me lately. Between friends uh mostly. But Alhamdulillah, i'm not the one who is backstabbed. You can never speak too soon though, can you? =/
Was browsing through friendster AGAIN this morning and i came across this girl's profile and saw testimonials with words that HURT. If you have nothing nice to say, its best to shut your trap and in this case, glue your fingers together.
Sometimes i feel like i'm back in primary school. Geng tak geng and all that. Now that i'm in secondary school, things haven't really changed. You have to watch what you say and who you're saying it to. Because you'll never know if that person tells on you and in secondary school, gossip spreads like whoa. I've had my share of occasions when i couldn't keep my big mouth shut and nasty comments to myself. And yeah, things got round and yada yada yada. Basically all i'm saying is, being backstabbed hurts uh. Especially if you had oh-so-much trust on that person. And there's no lack in people who are just out to ruin your secondary school life. Stories are made up and told with hope that i'll end up with no friends. I have nothing to say when it comes to that. Let people believe what they wanna believe. My conscience is clear.
This is all part and parcel of teenage life, i guess.

Right now, i'm happy with what i have and what i don't. I'm happy i have wonderful parents, two amazing older brothers, friends i can rely on and someone to always make my day. =)

HER : so how are you now? takde boyfriend?
ME : boyfriend? dah tak terkira dah. haha..
HER : haha. seriously uh..
ME : it all draws down to one thing kan? you're trying to find out if someone as ugly as me can find someone crazy enough to be my boyfriend.
HER : i didn't say that.
ME : no you didn't. but come on uh. its not as if i don't know what you're like.
HER : haha. kau takde boyfriend kan?
ME : no. i know you have everything. looks, friends and the oh-so-important boyfriend. but i have something that you don't have.
HER : what?
ME : a LIFE.

And with that my dear readers, i ended the convo by blocking her in MSN. Okay, she was a long lost primary school friend from Bukit View. Has always been my arch enemy and is always in a verbal argument with me. I added her from friendster with hope to get back in contact. She thinks just because she's pretty, she can look down on people like me. Haha. Whatever uh. I can't be bothered to be in conversations with ppl like that.

SO WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

2005-06-21T15:03:00.000+08:00

Nobody's tagging. But i feel like updating neways.

Was up talking to Mikhail on the phone until 130 in the morning. 3 hrs of non-stop talking. Okay uh. But pity him bcos he had to put up with my coughing. Over-used vocal chords, you know? Haha.

I'm thinking of deleting my friendster account. Mcm getting merepek uh. Think i shld?

Okay so neways, here comes the fun part.
The I-DON'T-CARE-WHAT-YOU-THINK-BUT-THIS-IS-MY-BLOG-AND-I-CAN-SAY-WHAT-I-WANT part.
So yeah, i was browsing through friendster and i came across quite alot of profiles FILLED with self-praises. I know at least its better than having low self-esteem but come on, its nauseating. Saying it jokingly with friends is FINE, don't get me wrong. But ur profile can be seen by everyone okay?
Captions like "sweet kaaaaan!" and all that shits. Most girls i know who are WAY WAY WAY prettier keep denying that they are and say "thank you" when they are being praised. THEY DO NOT PRAISE THEMSELVES. That is called being HUMBLE, in case you don't know. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have confidence. EVERYONE have their own definition of being beautiful. But PLEASE! Only self-praise to the mirror okay? Provided you're at home. Public toilets are a no-no. In case the mirror cracks. =)
Nahh i'm kidding. Everyone is pretty in their own ways.

I'm sick of poseurs. People claiming they're RASTA, SKIMMERS and whatever they call themselves. One person starts being into skimming, and the next thing you know, everyone will start claiming they're skimmers. The keyword here is CLAIMING. Which is saying something without proof that its true. And so, with no proof and by first impression that is looking at the picture of these people, i make a conclusion that these people are just WANNABES. Be yourself uh. Why pretend? Sheesh. If i listen to reggae, does it make me a rasta gal? I don't think so. Hate to break it to you but you're just a wannabe yg tak jadi. =)

And everyone is against Mats and Minahs nowadays. I have one question though. If EVERYONE is against Mats and Minahs, who are the real Mats and Minahs? And friendster hopping, i realised that even people who are considered Mats and Minahs "detest" Mats and Minahs. So they hate who they are? Unlikely kan? They're confused, and they're confusing us. =/

Okay dah pening. Bye.

2005-06-20T16:12:00.001+08:00

For once, quite a number of ppl tagged. Thanks eh..

Replies to tags :

uh me. : haha. asek jumpe doc je. bley bankrupt uh gini. lol =)
PrInCeSs aZiE : LOL. cute kaaaaan.. geram uh.
Covergirl : yay! you understand me! okay one day i'll buy you ice cream k? hehe. and really sorry i flooded your tagboard. tak sengaje. sorry!
SwEeEtKiSsEs : yeah. LOL. i'll buy you ice cream one day k! =)
MiK : sebok ajeeeee. dreams don't come true laaaaa.. =P
yan[NI]zam : haha. no idea also. gila agaknye.. lol. =)

Okie dokie. So now i owe Yana Sweeetkisses and Covergirl Lynn ice cream. LoL. One day okies? =D

So neways, its back to school for some students already. When i woke up this morning, my brother was already up which came as a big surprise to me. And you know how blur you are when you just woke up from an amazing, amazing dream so i just kept quiet and didn't say anything. Until...

the blur one : abg, sape beli nie?
the i-have-to-wake-up-early-for-school guy : tadi abg beli lepas balik sekolah.
the blur one : abg sekolah? ohh a'ah eh. lupa uh.

There you have it. I can be very forgetful and blur at times. Even though i just read a few blogs yesterday saying that they'll gonna have to attend school today. -.-

I'm having a life and death crisis deciding on what to cook for F&N. The Decision Making part of the Coursework is due on Monday and i still have no idea what to cook. Am i dead, or am i dead? Bcos i seriously think that I AM DEAD.

I'm really speechless. Would you give up your friendship with someone just over a male homosaphien? I WOULDN'T. AND I PERSONALLY THINK ONLY A STUPID AND BRAINLESS BIMBO WOULD DO THAT. Now that i know why you're apparently mad at me for, i really wish i hadn't ask. You're just insecure and you don't trust him. Don't you dare drag me into this.

And oh, do you think pesticides can get rid of the love bug? =/
Get it away from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! LoL.

Oh yes, and HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO EZA-DOLL!
May you be happy always okay darl? =D

2005-06-19T19:15:00.000+08:00

YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT PPL ARE TRYING TO TELL YOU BUT YOU'RE JUST AFRAID THAT YOU'RE WRONG AND YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF BY TELLING THEM WHAT YOU THINK?

YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE HURT TIME AND TIME AGAIN? BE IGNORED AND FEEL GUILTY FOR GOD-KNOWS-WHAT THAT YOU APPARENTLY DID TO SOMEONE? SHE'S AVOIDING ME AND I'M FEELING GUILTY BCOS I'M BEING LED TO THINK THAT I'M THE ONE WHO CAUSED HER TO ACT LIKE THIS. I MEAN, WTF? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. NOW THE SIGHT OF HER JUST PISSES ME OFF. YEAH, EVEN SEEING HER NICK IN MSN AND TAGBOARDS HAVE AN EFFECT ON ME. IRKS ME LIKE HELL.

"ALAH ATIQAH'S JEALOUS BCOS I HAVE LOADS OF GUY FRIENDS."
*SNORTS* GIVE ME A BREAK.
UNLIKE YOU, I ACTUALLY do HAVE A LIFE.
AND MY LIFE DOESN'T MAINLY COMPRISES OF GUYS, FLIRTING AND MORE GUYS.
I AM NOT LIKE YOU.
THANK GOD I'M NOT LIKE YOU.

YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN PPL HATE YOU FOR TELLING IT LIKE IT IS? I'M MERELY STATING FACTS. WHATS WRONG WITH STATING FACTS?

YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS?
WELL GOOD, THEN.
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME LIKE YOU DO UH..
AND FOR THAT, I'LL BUY YOU ICE CREAM OKAY? =D

AND OOOH.
MY 4 YEARS OLD NEPHEW, ERFAN, JUST KNOCKED ON MY BEDROOM DOOR AND WENT
"AUNTIE NURA, I WANT THAT POOH BEAR"
AUNTIE NURA?
HAHA. CAN'T HELP SMILING, YOU KNOW?
THIS PRETTY BOY REALLY MADE MY EVENING. =)

2005-06-19T12:56:00.000+08:00

SOMEONE I DIDN'T KNOW ADDED ME IN MSN AND ASKED ME OUT. OF COURSE I DECLINED LAH. I'M NOT that STUPID. BLOCKED AND DELETED HIM ALREADY.

I'M STILL SICK. WOKE UP AT 3 AM AND VOMITTED EVERYTHING I ATE. NOW I'M OKAY EXCEPT FOR THE HEADACHE AND THE FLU.

AND THIS, LADIES AND GENTS, IS HOW INCREDIBLY boring MY LIFE IS.
YEAH I REALLY SHOULD GET A LIFE.

AND OH, HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY TO NORFARHANA aka FARAH!

2005-06-18T13:02:00.000+08:00

Its finally OVER, guys and girls. No idea how, but its OVER! I finally managed to get over him. Yay. And yeah, i'm only fifteen, i have a long long long way to go. Haha..
So ta-daa! Presenting the new and improved Nur Atiqah. Chey. I'm more than contented with what i have right now. =)

Why is it that i feel as though she's drifting away? She's kinda avoiding me and everything but funny thing is, I DON'T FEEL SAD OR ANYTHING. I don't mind losing a friend like her bcos i know that i didn't do anything wrong. Come to think of it, when things go wrong, she always put the blame on me. Haha.
Okay i feel like i'm back in primary school. And how am i supposed to know what i did wrong if you don't tell me whats your problem? Sheesh lah.

Don't ever blame me bcos i know i didn't do anything wrong.

2005-06-17T09:30:00.000+08:00

yea i'm still alive and kicking. unfortunately for some of you kaaaan..
so anyways, Dad forced me to take my medicine. since Mom's method of forcing did not work. haha.
yeah, now my temperature has gone down.
but i'm still feeling giddy and haven't stopped sneezing since just now.
but my grandmother still insists on visiting me today.. including me, 3 of her grand daughters are sick. and i live the furthest. tak ke kesian gitu? haish. told her not to go through all that trouble since i'm feeling better already..
Mom left for her check up just now. so i'm gonna have to buy breakfast for me and my brother later. he's still sleeping so i have no idea what to buy for him.
i had the exact same dream again last night. now i'm developing a phobia for white cars. =/

and yeah, my phone's back with me. =)

2005-06-16T10:05:00.000+08:00

MY HEAD FEELS HEAVY AND I'M FREEZING COLD.
NOW I'M HAVING FEVER TOO.
MY THROAT HURTS BECAUSE I TALKED TOO MUCH LAST NIGHT.
I FEEL SICK. BUT MS TANG EXPECTS ME TO COME FOR DRAMA TODAY. AND MY MC WAS ONLY FOR YESTERDAY..

CAN I MAKE IT TO SCHOOL? =/

LAST NIGHT I DREAMT THAT I WAS KNOCKED DOWN BY A WHITE MERCEDES BENZ.
AND I DIED.

THEY SAY MIMPI HANYA MAINAN TIDUR.
BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE,
I WISH THIS PARTICULAR DREAM COMES TRUE....

2005-06-15T08:39:00.000+08:00

ITS RAINING LIONS AND TIGERS OUTSIDE.
I JUST WOKE UP FEELING A SHARP PAIN IN MY THROAT.
AND VOILA, NOW I'M HAVING A SORE SORE THROAT.
WHICH ALSO MEANS I SOUND LIKE ANOTHER BAPOK THAILAND. =/
HAVEN'T STOPPED COUGHING AND I'M HAVING A HUGE HEADACHE.
WAITING FOR MOM TO COME HOME FROM WORK TO TAKE ME TO SEE MR. DOCTOR.
MY HANDS AND FEET ARE FREEZING COLD!
AND MY RIGHT EYE HAS BEEN TWITCHING SINCE YESTERDAY.

MEANWHILE, PLS IGNORE MY PREVIOUS ENTRY. ITS FULL OF CRAP.

WITH THIS HUGE HEADACHE I'M HAVING, I CAN'T THINK. WHICH IS NOT A GD THING SINCE I AM SO BLOODY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

OKAY THAT HURTS. I AM SO SO SO FEELING CONFUSED. AND BLUR TOO.

AND OH, PLS REFRAIN FROM CALLING ME THIS COMING FEW DAYS. IT HURTS WHEN I TALK TOO MUCH AND I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR MY VOICE RIGHT NOW.. OKAY?

OKAY.

2005-06-14T16:35:00.000+08:00

I'M SUFFERING FROM ANOTHER GASTRIC ATTACK. I'M IN PAIN.
I'M BORED AND I'M FEELING CRANKY.

TIME FOR A REALITY CHECK, EVERYONE.

SOMETIMES, I'D ASK MYSELF IF EVERYTHING IS WORTH LIVING FOR. AND THE ANSWER IS A DEFINITE NO. I'M SICK OF EVERYTHING. I'M SICK OF FEELING INFERIOR TO EVERYONE AND HAVING SELF-CONFIDENCE AS LOW AS ZERO. WHY I DON'T LIKE ACCEPTING COMPLIMENTS AND KEEP INSISTING THAT I'M NOWHERE NEAR PRETTY? BCOS I GREW UP HAVING INSULTS HURLED AT ME LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS. EVEN MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS CALLED ME NAMES BEHIND MY BACK. WHY BEHIND MY BACK, YOU ASK? I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO CLUE. BUT I DON'T NEED CLIQUES TO BACK ME UP. ITS HARD TRYING TO FIT IN SOMETIMES WHEN YOU'RE CONSTANTLY SURROUNDED BY PPL WHO ARE PRETTIER, SMARTER AND WHATNOTS. I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL INFERIOR.

THESE PPL WHO ONLY SPOT PPL'S FLAWS ARE ONLY A BIG PAIN IN THE POSTERIOR.

THEY SAY BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER. I STILL DON'T GET IT. I THINK I'LL NEVER GET IT. BCOS IT ALWAYS ALWAYS DRAWS DOWN TO ONE THING. WE ARE ALWAYS BEING JUDGED BY OUR LOOKS. CALL ME SHALLOW IF YOU WANT, BUT ASK YOURSELF. WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE ON THE STREET, YOU CAN'T SEE THAT PERSON'S TRUE SELF. YOU ONLY SEE HOW PRETTY/HANDSOME THAT PERSON IS, RIGHT? YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY CONCLUDE THAT HE/SHE IS A NICE PERSON, CAN YOU? AND WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW THAT PERSON AND HE/SHE TURNS OUT TO HAVE A SPARKLING PERSONALITY, YOU'D THINK TWICE BEFORE ASKING HIM/HER OUT IF HIS/HER TWO FRONT TEETH ARE MISSING AND ONE OF HIS/HER EYE IS INFECTED. YOU STILL JUDGE HIM/HER BY HOW HE/SHE LOOKS LIKE. I'M SURE NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE THAT. I'M PRETTY SURE CONSIDERING THERE ARE MANY PPL WHO DON'T JUDGE ME BY MY LOOKS. AND HONESTLY, I'M GETTING SICK OF PPL ASKING ME IF MY CRUSH IS GOOD LOOKING. SO WHAT IF HE ISN'T? I DON'T LIKE HIM BCOS OF HIS LOOKS. I LIKE HIM BCOS HE'S HIM.

I ADMIT. I USED TO ASK THE SAME THING TO FRIENDS. BUT NOW, LOOKING BACK AND THINKING ABT HOW I USED TO FEEL WHEN PPL JUDGE ME BY MY LOOKS, I REALISE ITS NOT FAIR TO ASK THOSE KINDA QUESTIONS. YEA, SO WHAT IF HE/SHE IS GOOD LOOKING?

FRANKLY, I'M BEING JUDGED BY MY LOOKS RIGHT NOW. AND TRUST ME, IT HURTS EVEN MORE WHEN YOUR LOOKS ARE BEING COMPARED WITH OTHER GIRLS. SO TELL ME, IS THERE ANY REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T FEEL ANY MORE INFERIOR THAN BEFORE?

AND PPL, PLEASE. STOP MAKING ME FEEL AS THOUGH I DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE CRUSHES. YES, I'M NOT AS PRETTY AS YOU BUT I HAVE FEELINGS TOO Y'KNOW?

BUT TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON ANYONE. EXCEPT FOR MAYBE DANNY UH. HA HA. OTHER THAN THAT, NO. WHY? BCOS I'M SICK OF FEELING INSECURE.

SO PLS, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK AND HURT OTHER PPL WITH WHAT YOU SAY. BCOS SERIOUSLY, WHAT GOES ARD COMES ARD. PLS STOP INSULTING.

NOBODY'S PERFECT.

I SOUND LIKE A PREACHER. AND THIS WHOLE THING SOUNDS LIKE A SPEECH. SHEESH. ITS JUST HOW I FEEL UH. WHAT ARE BLOGS FOR, RIGHT?

2005-06-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

I'M BORED AND THERE'S NO ONE TO TALK TO.
AND I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHY I'M TYPING IN CAPS.
I'M JUST FEELING SO PISSED ABT EVERYTHING. BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TYPING IN CAPS CAN MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. SHEEEEEESH!

I MISS HIM.
I MISS HIM NOT.
I MISS HIM.
I MISS HIM NOT.
OKAY UH. I MISS HIM.

THIS IS SERIOUSLY STUPID, DON'T YOU THINK? ANOTHER ONE OF MY POINTLESS AND WHINY ENTRIES. FORGET IT. PPL MAKE IT SOUND SO SIMPLE. IF YOU MISS HIM, CALL HIM. WHATEVER UH.

LEARN TO LET GO WHATEVER YOU'RE AFRAID TO LOSE.
SOUNDS FAMILIAR? HA HA.
AND OH. I FORGOT SOMETHING.
HOLIDAY HOMEWORKS. I'M GONNA HAVE TO BURY MYSELF ALONG WITH THE PILE OF HOLIDAY HOMEWORKS I HAVE TO COMPLETE. YES, EVEN THE MATHS ONE. *cringes*

close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
where feelings mean nothing now

2005-06-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

Made a trip to the library today. Had a great time even though i was alone. Haha.
Went to Civics. Borrowed 3 books. Then made my way to Lot 1. Walked walked and walked. Then took 302 back home.

Here comes the best part.
GUYS, pls skip this part. I don't think you'd be interested. =P

I was sitting in the bus, minding my own business. My mp3 was on full blast and ppl were looking at me like i'm deaf. I'M NOT. NOT, okay? I just love to put my mp3 on full blast. Okeh so back to the story.
I was minding my own business and listening to The Vandals. Then a guy wearing a red FOX shirt boarded the bus somewhere near Yew Tee CC. WHOA WHOA WHOA. He has the same hairstyle as Ashton. WHOA. And he has thick eyebrows and big eyes and long eyelashes. HOT HOT HOT! The girl beside me was checking him out and flirting. It was oh-so-obvious. With the hairflip and everythingg.. OMG. And weirdly enough, her MOM was sitting next to her.. The girl's thirteen years old. She used to be my junior in primary school. Haha.

Kids are growing up fast. LOL..
But no, thats not my point.
The point is, THAT GUY'S HOT!
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

See, i told you guys wouldn't be interested.
I tried it on someone already.
LOL.

2005-06-11T19:00:00.000+08:00

My day hasn't gone so good.

[1] I'm suffering from a major diarrheoa attack.
[2] He's gone quiet again. =(
[3] I'm bored.
[4] I'm bored.
[5] I'm REALLY bored.

I'm alone at home. Blasting my speakers with music. Mom and Dad went to another cousin's wedding. Dad asked if i wanted to tag along abt a million times. Haha. Didn't feel so good so i declined uh.

HELP ME! I'M BOREEEEEEEED.
This calls for a library trip.
Going tmr, i THINK.
IF my mom lets me.
and IF i feel good enough abt myself.

I HATE PRANK CALLS. AND I HATE PICKING UP THE PHONE ONLY TO FIND NO ONE THERE.
Dah call, tak tau nak ckp. Nak kata bengap, pegi skola buat pe kan.. Sheesh.
And i hate hate hate miss calls. If its not so often, i don't mind. But if its at least FOUR TIMES EVERYDAY and from the wrong wrong WRONG ppl, i seriously mind.
Kalau tgn dah gatal sangat, garuk lah. leave me aloneeeeee.
maaaaaaaak! tolongggggg!

everytime you call,
my heart goes on overdrive.

2005-06-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

I made a big sacrifice today. I sacrificed SMALLVILLE. Only got myself to blame since i was the one who switched on the computer. And now i can't get my hands off the keyboard. This thing is ADDICTIVE, i tell ya. See, i miss Tom Welling already. Got to wait until next weeeeeeeeek.. Haish.

Mummy dearest tried cooking sweet and sour fish today. So so so goooooood. With the succulent and oh-so-sweet pineapple chunks. And the oh-so-tender fish. The fried, boneless fish. The spicy taste of the sauce and the sweet taste of pineapple. Am i making you feel hungry? Haha.

Last night i talked to eza-doll on the phone. She's such a sweet lady. =))
Thank you so so so much! I couldn't have done it without you. THANK YOU!

Then after that, i talked to him. *widest smile ever*
Then another person called. *smile fades*
Then i told that person i wanted to sleep.
Then my brother got home. He wanted to use the computer so i couldn't go to sleep first. And so, i became Cinderella for a while. Sekejap je tau. Haha. Washed his clothes for him. Susah nak dpt adik mcm gini. LOL. Then talked to him abit. Then i went to sleep.

I've never felt so so happy. And so so crappy. Crappy is not a bad thing. Crappy just means constipated. Hahahahaha. Get what i'm trying to say now? I haven't been this merepek.
And the person who never fails to put up with my merepek-ness is MIKHAIL! Thank you! Haha. Okeh there. Is your name big enough? LoL.

Okeh uh. I wanna go scream. Boleh jadi gilaaaaaa mcm ginnnnnnnni..

2005-06-09T17:10:00.000+08:00

Good morning! No, there's nothing wrong with your eyes. I, Nuratiqah Musa just safely landed from la-la land. Yea, at 4 in the afternoon. The reason being i couldn't get to sleep last night. I only drifted to sleep at 5 am.

And i was tiredddd.. Very tired.
I had a fantabulous time yesterday with Namira. We were supposedly celebrating her birthday in advance. Went to Peninsula Plaza then Esplanade and then we just went sight-seeing. It was fun uh. Walked from Esplanade to Fort Canning. I LOVE THE ARTS HOUSE! =)) The monuments outside are so coool. Took stupid pictures and everything.. But it was difficult since there are only the two of us, so we can't take pics together. Haha. And i fell in love with Sir Stamford Raffles. Man In Black! Hot hot hot! Ahahaha. Urm, everything about him is in black actually. LoL. My faberet colourrrr.. [Okeh, thats a little bit irrelevant]
So back to that, after sight-seeing, we went to town. Walked around and then took 190 back to cck. Bought myself 2 pairs of ear studs and we went our separate ways. Yep, thats it. A really brief summary of the fantabulous time i had yesterday.

I'm suffering from post-depression symptoms. I'm trying to make myself happy by cracking stupid jokes and merepek-ing. Trying to forget everything and mooooooove on. But seriously uh, its hard. Like a phrase from a song, "i close my eyes, and all i see is YOU". It gets so bad that i'll just stare at my phone and wait for it to ring. And unfortunately enough, when it DOES ring, its always calls and smses from all the WRONG ppl. Sheesh.

Take last night for example, my phone didn't stop ringing even at 3 in the morning. Tak reti tido keeeeee?
It was all from the wrong wrong WRONG ppl that i ended up putting my phone on silent mode and in the drawer it goes..

I want my phone to ring pls. Can YOU make that happen? Pls?
eeeee. What the hell is wrong with me?!

Some of the pics i took yesterday.

One of my favourite pics. =))

the merlion.

the baby merlion.

where i wanna hold my wedding one day. chey! haha.

another one of my favourite pics.

the oh-so-hot Sir Stamford Raffles! =))

you make me go whoaaaa.

Tagboard rosaaaaaaaaaak! hmph.

Okeh i wanna bath. Tata!

2005-06-07T21:50:00.000+08:00

replies to tags :

Covergirl - thank you so much. *hugs*
SwEeEtKiSsEs - sorry sorry. i will soon.. =)
PrInCeSs aZiE - okayy.. =)
DiahBeetch - ahaha. u tc too!
*nadz - awak! ahaha. yea i know i sound scary. haha. tc too!
syiq - haha. THANK YOU! =))
aini - thnx for tagging.. =)
diy*ana - missed u deee! =D meet up soon okeh..

went out today. with dearest kak mardhiah. had tons and tons of fun.
sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine. i didn't think of anybody and anything else. erm, maybe a bit uh. haha.

oooh yes yes. i saw mikhail at far east. looking good eh. hahaha. =P [u owe me lunch for saying that] ahaha. naahhh i'm kidding.. =)) wahh his teeth very the silau seh. i'm still suffering from d after effects. LOL..
okeh okeh, i'm just kidding. =))

the whole outing was super fun. going out again tmr.. haha. i'm trying hard to forget everything..
i miss going to marina. i miss the breeze at marina. i miss singing there. i miss looking at the sea. i miss everything uh! haish. the atmosphere there is super fabulous. I WANNA GO THERE! haha.

2005-06-06T17:30:00.000+08:00

OH GOODY! I DIDN'T KNOW MY BLOG IS THAT POPULAR. SEE, LIKE I SAID BEFORE, WHATS THE POINT OF HAVING A BLOG IF YOU CAN'T EXPRESS YOUR THOUGHTS?

FINE. BLAME ME IF YOU WANT TO. SORRY FOR BITCHING BUT THATS HOW I REALLY FEEL.

I'M NOT FEELING OKAY. I STILL FEEL LIKE SCREAMING.

I SAW SOMETHING WHICH I REALLY WISH I HADN'T SEEN. I COULD FEEL MY HEART REALLY DROPPING ONTO THE FLOOR. THE TRUTH ALWAYS ALWAYS HURT.

WEIRDLY ENOUGH, IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD TO BE RIGHT ALL ALONG THIS TIME.

I WAS RIGHT. ABOUT EVERYTHING. ABOUT THE GIRLS. I WAS RIGHT.
GOD. I REALLY FEEL SO STUPID RIGHT NOW.. WAITING FOR SOMETHING WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE TO HAPPEN. WHAT THE HELL ARE MIRRORS FOR? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. HOW COULD I EVER BE SO BLIND?

PLEASE TAKE EVERYTHING BACK.
YOUR FRIENDSHIP. BITTER, SWEET MEMORIES.
TAKE IT BACK. TAKE IT ALL BACK.

I'VE NEVER FELT THIS HURT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BEFORE. I WASN'T KIDDING WHEN I MADE THAT CONFESSION. ITS ALL OVER. GOODBYE.

2005-06-05T18:26:00.000+08:00

EEEEEE I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING!

[1] I FEEL SO FCUKING LEFT OUT. I WASN'T EVEN TOLD ABOUT THE ARRANGEMENTS. I WASNT TOLD BECAUSE I'M NOT FCUKING PART OF UR "CLIQUE"? WHAT THE FCUK? AS FAR AS I CAN REMEMBER, I WAS FCUKING INVITED. THE LEAST U COULD DO WAS FCUKING INFORM ME OF THE ARRANGEMENTS. ITS FINE WITH ME IF SHE SUDDENLY DECIDED TO DIS-INVITE ME BUT I DON'T GET WHY I WAS KEPT IN THE DARK ABT EVERYTHING!

[2] I AM SO FCUKING PISSED AT SOME PPL WHO FCUKING JUMP TO CONCLUSION. A TESTIMONIAL IS JUST A TESTIMONIAL. HE IS NOT NOT NOT MY BOYFRIEND. SO NOT MY BOYFRIEND. AND USE UR FCUKING BRAIN FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. WHICH GUY WOULD GO FOR A GIRL LIKE ME? I'M NOT PRETTY LIKE U, REMEMBER? AND U DON'T HAVE TO GO ARD ASKING PPL IF THAT GUY IS MY BOYFRIEND. I, MYSELF AM TELLING U THIS NOW. I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND; UNLIKE U! THERE. SO NOW U CAN SMIRK AND TELL PPL THAT I'M LEFT ON THE SHELF. PLS FCUKING GROW UP!

[3] I HATE IT WHEN PPL ONLY COME TO ME WHEN THEY HAVE PROBLEMS. AND IN THIS CASE, WHEN THEY HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TALK TO. WTF? MY PHONE ONLY RINGS WHEN SOMEBODY DOESN'T HAVE ANY OTHER GIRLS TO CALL. NOW TELL ME, HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL? I AM NOT TALKING ABT A CERTAIN SOMEONE. I'M TALKING IN GENERAL TERMS. SO DON'T BE PISSED AT ME. TRY ASKING URSELF IF WHAT U'RE DOING TO ME IS FAIR.

[4] I AM ALWAYS BEING CRITICISED ABT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. ONCE AND FOR ALL, I ADMIT THAT I LOOK DIFFERENT IN PHOTOS. SO PLS FCUKING GET OFF MY CASE. I AM NOT PRETTY. I AM VERY FAT AND VERY UGLY. THERE. I CONFESSED. ARE U HAPPY NOW? OR DO U WANT ME TO GET RID OF ALL THE PICTURES I HAVE AT FRIENDSTER? IN CASE U'RE A BIT SLOW, I AM VERY FAT AND VERY UGLY. I'VE CONFESSED. UR CRITICISMS ARE TRUE. SO, PLS PLS FCUKING GET OFF MY CASE.

EVERYTHING JUST HAS TO GO WRONG NOW.

2005-06-04T14:51:00.000+08:00

i'm baaaaaaaaaaaack!

replies to taggies :
*nadz - hey hey. yep i'm chilling. =)
* huda - tc too! and i'll tag, don't worry. =)
aween - thank you! and i miss you too! =)
*nadz - haha. okok.. i'll tag. tak sabar kamu!
PrInCeSs aZiE - who's he? ehehe. =P
SwEeEtkiSsEs - thank you for d advice. =) tc too!
DiahBeetch - haha. insya Allah tak.. =)
SwEeEtkiSsEs - boooo! =D
*nadz - keceriaankuu dicuri org! hahaha.

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING!

Okeh. I made a mini disappearing act because i was busy and plain lazy to update. I've been friendster-ing so much that i didn't even visit my blog the past few days. Haha. Sorry! But many thanks to ppl who tagged. =)

And and and i'm putting on a whole lot of weight. Mane taknye, gue disogok dgn makanan yg lazat lazat! I'm getting chubbierrrrr.. =/

I've been eating alot alot of oranges lately. Really really sour ones. It was love at first bite uh. Haha.

My tee reeks of what-smells-like-butter right now. I spilled Ben & Jerry's ice cream on it.
Okeh i wanna go change. Update next time k.

2005-06-01T11:12:00.000+08:00

Whats the point of having a blog or a livejournal for that matter, if you are deprived of letting your feelings known? Whats the point of having one if you can't tell ppl how you feel abt certain issues? Whats the point in having one if you're afraid that the person will have complete abhorence for you for the rest of your life if you were to mention abt her/him? I see no point. Therefore, don't be surprised if i were to close down this blog and delete my livejournal.

Whats the point in calling when you know you're gonna hurt me with what you say? Whats the point in asking when you know you're gonna forget? Whats the point in denying when you know that i already know? Whats the point in trying to convince me when you don't even reciprocate and understand how i feel?

I'M GOING CRAZY. LITERALLY.

2005-05-31T13:41:00.000+08:00

Yay i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! =))

Replies to tags.

yana - i'm here! i'm here! haha.
eMiLy - YAY! I CAN HAVE DANNY! thnx! ehehe. k i'll relink u.. =)
*nadz - no don't! nanti aku kene relink kau. hahaha. tc! mwahs.
diy*ana - I MISS YOU TOO MRS KENNY! =)
Covergirl - lynnnnn! missed you! keep in touch okeh! tc! =)

Yay! My computer is finally a-okeh. I'm blogging at the comfort of my own room. No kaypo people breathing down my neck watching me type. Haha. It feels great to be back uh! =)

First of all, i'd like to thank people who tagged. And friends who dropped me a testimonial at friendster. Thank you so much yea. =) Missed each and every one of you. No doubt about that.

Dissers.

Quite a number of my friends were affected by the oh-so-dreadful blog dissers. Dissers who absolutely got nothing better to do and are in desperate need of their very own tagboards. What the hell uh. They don't even have the guts to leave their name. Haha. CHICKEN. Ignore them uh k.. =)

MYE results.

Erm lets see. My results are not-so-good this semester. Not-so-good which in my dictionary also means bad, very bad, worse than i imagined. Haha. As usual, the parent-meeting session was a-okeh. Nothing new was brought up, except for my erm, below-average attendance and my language abilities. Ironically, i got a B4 for English. Hahahaha.

June holidays.

2 days into the June holidays and i WAS already feeling bored since there was no computer to depend on. The last few days were absolutely BORING for me. I was driven into doing chores and cleaning up my room. Now my room's clean and neat, just like 7 yrs ago when we moved into this hse. Chey! Haha. But just give me a month and i can assure you, my room will be back into its messy state.

Made a deal with Mom that she'll continue giving me my weekly allowance if i help in doing household chores. Being the ~~money-faced~~ girl that i already am, i agreed. Hey, a girl's got to go shopping, no? =D

I've got no plans yet for the holidays. Don't know if the outings that were planned with farah yana and iqah are still on. Meanwhile, ELDDS members have to go for frequent practices. I still don't know if i'm going to Malacca or not. And holiday homeworks are keeping me occupied. Not to mention the remaining Coursework left and the essay-writing competition Ms Yong wanted me to take part in.

Which reminds me, the date due for the 1000 word essay is approaching and i still haven't started. The topic given is BORING but the prize is so so tempting. IF i win, that is. Given the other competitors' language abilities and wider command of English [what do you expect? they're from the first class of the Sec 3 level!!], i don't think i stand a chance. Haish.

Great. The highly anticipated June holidays are finally here and i still have no plans.

A super long entry eh. Haha. Tag pls!

And oh yea, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO SHA aka MRS MCKENZIE!

2005-05-23T13:40:00.000+08:00

I'm at the library again. I miss blogging laaa.. =)

So sorry i can't reply to tags. But i can read them though. Many many thanx to Nadz for always tagging. Love ya sis! =) And Princess Azie too. Thanx yea!

Thanx to Nadz and Mik for pointing out the little error at the last post. Its 5 JUNE. Not 5 January. If it was 5 January, i'll definitely DIE OF BOREDOM. Haha.. Can't wait for 5 JUNE!

Still haven't made a decision whether i shld go to Malacca or not. I don't want to be victimised by the mosquitoes.. =/ Haishx. I'm going, most probably..

And just when i thought things were going back to normal, this had to happen. I cried again last night. Haha. Whatever uh. If i had learnt one thing out of it, it has to be "the higher ur hopes are, the harder you'll fall". Yep. Trying to get over everything now. Difficult, but i'm gonna have to try harder.

Okeh. I kinda feel funny here. As though someone is watching me. Haha. Perasan eh. But yea lah. This two guys doing CIP have walked in front of me for 7 times already. Coincidental? Haha. Lantak laaaa..

I MISS GOING ON MSN! I MISS MY FRIENDS IN MSN! =)

Okeh my time is up. Gotta go. Till next time okeh! =)

2005-05-20T13:35:00.000+08:00

Ookay. My computer at home broke down. I'm at the library right now with Namira and we're impatiently waiting for eldds to start at 1530. Haha. Okeh so just so u know, i can't reply to tags or blog that often anymore. Urm according to my Mom, the internet connection can only be restored on 5 January. So tell me, HOW MUCH SUCKY-ER CAN MY LIFE GET? I'm too dependent on my darling computer. But i pity my family the most uh. Because they'll have to put up with my erm awful singing + shouting since i can't find anything better to do. Haha.

Okeh. Will surely miss everyone and the blogging world! I'll try my best to blog as often as i can uh okeh.

Ohh and btw, THINGS ARE BACK TO NORMAL! Haha.

Okeh tc everyone! =)

2005-05-16T22:09:00.000+08:00

Okeh. Editted the last post.
Still not feeling okeh yet.
I just feel shitty uh today. Don't know why.

Not schooling tmr and wednesday. Most probably be rotting at home. Shopping trip postponed. Maybe going to visit my grandma tmr. See how it goes uh. If i can get rid of my laziness and if no one asks me out at the last minute.. *coughs* Haha. Nahh i'm kidding. On Wednesday, i have absolutely NO plans. Haish.

Nothing lasts forever uh. Thats all i can say. One time, you'll feel as though everything's going as per normal but no, everything sidetracked and goes wrong. Wth. Thats LIFE i guess. Part and parcel of life.
I guess i have to deal with everything uh. Even though its so difficult to understand sometimes. Haish.

2005-05-16T07:10:00.000+08:00

Just a short update before i go bathe and get ready for school. I've been up since early in the morning to revise my Geography. Yeps. Just in case you're wondering what the hell i'm doing at home at this hour, Pure Geography starts at 1030. I have to be in school by 10. Last paper of all last papers. Haha.. After approximately 12pm today, i declare myself exam-free. But there's still post-exams stress. Will definitely be suffering from anxiety and paranoia.

OMG OMG OMG! I'm so gonna fail! See, i'm having post-exam stress already. Haha.

Its raining quite heavily since just now. Got kinda distracted because i was too busy hiding my face. Haha. I'm scared of lightning uh.. Can't help it. Its so freaking cold right now.

Okeh. I'm kinda having this Monday Blues thingy. Haish. The rain kinda describes how i'm feeling uh right now. I love looking out the window at times like this. Oh God. I feel so depressed. But i don't SOUND depressed. Haha. I FEEL DEPRESSED! Something happened last night which made me EVEN MORE depressed. Shitty uhh! THIS SHIT IS BANANAS. Haha. Ape aku merepek pagi2 buta nieeeeeeee!

Okeh uh. I guess thats enough. Wanna go check if Abg Faris is up yet. He too is having exams today. Best of Luck abg! Ohh shit. This depression thing is getting to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

will you criticise me as i sit and cry?

2005-05-15T12:23:00.000+08:00

Replies to dearest taggers :
SwEeeTkiSsEs : ello! okay i'll tag soon. =)
*nadz : okie dokie. you too!
kaaaaaaay : dollface? LOL. i'm not-so-fine at the moment. how bout you?
PrInCeSs aZiE : haha. me too!
*huda : thanx huda! okay i'll tag soon k.. =)
DiahBeetch : hahaha. keep calm eh.. lol.. thankius anw. =)
PrInCeSs aZiE : yea thats why uh! haish..

First and foremost, HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY ABG! *grins*
Memandangkan tiqa tgh broke, birthday present ditangguhkan yer! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Okie dokie. I'm feeling much better now. After a while, my mood kinda got better. I slept with my fone in hand again last night. Haha. Was up smsing until 12am when i fell asleep. Haha. He had to wait a while until he finally received a reply. LoL. In the end, he went to slp since i slept already. He's a friend uh. Actually he's part of the reason why i'm feeling better. He managed to make me laugh alot yesterday. Haha. And he told me abt this girl that he likes. I told him my problems. Yada yada yada uh.

I'm still thinking abt her/it/him right now though. Don't know uh. Its hard to get over it.

Okay i haven't eaten for a while now. Wanna go eat.

is it enough to love?
is it enough to breathe?
somebody ripped my heart out
and left me here to bleed

2005-05-14T13:30:00.000+08:00

I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED.

DEMI KESELAMATAN ANDA, HARAP BERDIRI DI BELAKANG GARISAN KUNING.

TODAY IS JUST NOT THE DAY TO FURTHER PISS ME OFF BCOZ I'M ALREADY PISSED AS IT IS. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST EGOISTIC UH EH. JUST BCOZ SOME PEOPLE ASKED FOR THEIR NUMBER, THEY THINK THEY'RE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. NO NO. NOT DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, THATS BEING DROP DEAD STUCK UP LAH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. IGNORE ME ALL YOU WANT UH K..

I DON'T GET IT SOMETIMES. IF I'M IN THE WRONG, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG? OHH YOU THINK BY IGNORING ME, I CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT I DID WRONG MYSELF? SORRY UH. I'M NOT AS CAPABLE AS YOU IN THAT SECTOR. I'M NOT GOOD AT FIGURING THINGS OUT. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME? IS THAT SO HARD? JUST TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG, PLS! I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE THIS.

I CRIED MY EYES OUT LAST NIGHT. YOU'RE NOT AWARE ABT THAT, ARE YOU? MY PHONE RANG BUT I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO PICK UP. I JUST HATE BEING TREATED LIKE THIS UH. ITS JUST NOT FAIR.

ABG ZUL'S FRIENDS ARE COMING LATER. HE TOLD ME HE'LL BE ORDERING PIZZA OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I HAVE NO APPETITE UH SERIOUSLY. I DON'T FEEL LIKE EATING, I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING ELSE. HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE YESTERDAY AFTERNOON.

OKEH I'M OUT. MEANWHILE, DON'T PISS ME OFF K.

PLEASE STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE. THANK YOU.

2005-05-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

This spyware thing is still getting on my nerves.

Nothing much happened today. Been feeling kinda moody since yesterday. I've made my decision. I can't believe i trusted HER so much. So yeps, i'm gonna ignore HER forever until the day SHE realises HER mistake and apologise. SHE can bloody well pretend nothing ever happened but i personally can't. SHE crossed the line uh.. Get a clue okay? I hate YOU! So stop acting friendly.

Had this conference chat through MSN with my primary school girl-friends. Wow. Didn't realise how much i missed them. Lets meet up one day okay girls? Let it be the malay girls of 6C o2' reunion or something. Haha.. Nobody's changed yet. Amalina is still with her "aku cute!" [LoL], Shafiqah's lame jokes are still there to stay and Huda is still sarcastic and straightforward. As for me, i'm still ME! Haha. =)

So yeps. Went out with mom yesterday.. Bought this really pretty Elle flip flops. Going shopping again on monday! Looking for clothes! Yay! Haha. I LOVE MOMMY! LoL.

My pretty Elle flip flops! Ehehe.

Me and mommy dearest. =) Okay i know lah my mom's prettier. Shh!

okay no comments. *zips mouth*

Okay thats all. Two more papers to go and its FREEDOM for me. Physics tmr and Geog on Monday. 3 days left until my brother's birthday! Wahh dah 19 seh! Hahahaha.

p/s: Ignore the coloured words pls. Search miracle thingys. Ignore okay? Thankius. Now, GO TAG! Hahaha.
And oh, i'd like to apologise if i haven't been tagging at ppl's board. I can't tag uh now. Sorry yea! But pls do tag at mine. Ehehehe. =)

2005-05-11T15:24:00.000+08:00

Yeps. I'm here again. Still waiting for Mommy dearest to wake up from her sleep. She just got back from work this morning and she promised to go on a shopping trip with me today.. Buying a few stuffs today. Going on another one on Monday. Haha.. Going to disturb her sleep if she's still not awake by 1530. LoL.. She promised she'll wake up at 1500 okay? I'm giving her half an hour more to enjoy her sleep. Haha.

Two newspaper articles today feature some of the sec 4 boys from Kranji Sec. One is about some band audition [straits times] and another is about skimming [berita harian]. When i got to know abt blackductape in the straits times i was pretty impressed uh. Its not everyday that you get to be featured in the newspaper, you know? Haha. But don't get me wrong, i have absolutely no intention to "tumpang glamour". I haven't even talked to them before. Haha. Erm no comments abt the berita harian article. =) Peace, no war! Hahaha.

Okay Mom woke up already. *huge huge smile*

Oh and btw, i feel like shoving someone down the toilet bowl. *even huge-r smile*

And we got scolded by quite alot of teachers today. What's the day today? PMS daaaaaaaaay! Hahahahahahahaha. Okay, gross. Ingatkan mid-year, students je yg stress, rupenye cikgu pun stress jugak. Haha. Pardon my lameness today. Just some post-depression thing i'm suffering from. LoL..

Okay going out already! Byeeeee!

2005-05-10T16:04:00.000+08:00

Okay. Once again, before anything else, i'd like to apologise abt the coloured words.
My computer is still infested with spywares. Haish.

The Maths Paper 2 was tough also. Okay uh compared to Paper 1. But still, i'm no good in Maths so i can say goodbye to passing Maths this MYE.

Finished our paper at 0930. Then went to eat and study at McDonalds then at Yew Tee. Haish. So many things to studyyyyyyyyy.. Tmr i'll be sitting for FnN and History. I'm scared and worried abt my Geog uh.. =/

After Geog, which in on the 16th, FREEDOM at last. Anyone wanna book me first? Hahaha. Not schling on the 17th and 18th. I'll be going shopping with Mommy dearest on the 16th. Then on the 17th i'll most probably be going to Sentosa with the girls. On the 18th i'll be rotting at home.. =) Lets go out! Haha.

Okay wanna go study FnN. Gonna irritate my Mom later. There's so many things to buy! And ohh yea, i need new printer catridges.. Haish.

I'm feeling so sucky right now. I never should have did everything that i did. I'm so sorry.. Its your friendship that i want, okay? But nahh. If you don't want to then its fine with me.. I know you're reading this. Take care yea. I won't bother you again, i promise. =)

Okie dokie. I'm off to suffocate my brain with even more facts. Goodbye!

2005-05-09T20:23:00.000+08:00

Okie dokie. I just cut my hair. But i must warn you, there's NO DIFFERENCE. LoL. I wasted Mom's 12 bucks. Nyahahaha. Sorry Mommy.. Eh wait, there's a slight difference uh. Its abit shorter [more obvious if i tie my hair up] and more layered. And err it's thinner than before. LoL. But i still look the same. Haha. Sorry again Mommy! Okaylah i let you see a pic lah k. Once again, i repeat, there's NO difference.
Okay my hair still looks messy. Know why? Because i just got out of bed. Haha. Just woke up from sleep uh! Messy eh! Tsk tsk.

Haha. Mom actually wanted me to try those kinda china doll fringe. LoL..

Mom : Buatlah fringe mcm tuu. Tutoplah jendul kau siket..
Me : Eee tak nak lah! Tak biase. Nanti makin terserlah ketembam-an iqa.
Mom : Ape-ape aje lah kau nie.

Haha. She used to cut my fringe for me when i was in primary school. LoL.. And i used to cry each time. Hahaha. Those were the days lah. But i'm happy with my hair now. Err even though there's not much difference. Haha.

Okay i know what to buy for Abg Faris already! Woots. But $$'s the main problem. Haish..

I'm still waiting for god-knows-what. What exactly am i waiting for? Haha. Good question. Cos i don't know either. =/

Okay wanna stare at my phone again. And oh, i dropped it again just now. Oops.

Oh god. Maths Paper 2 tmr.

Errr am i DEAD or am i DEAD? Yeps. I'm DEAD.

Pardon the coloured words. Search miracle thingies. I'm getting more and more pissed off with spywares, i'm telling you. If it was a human being, i'd really like to strangle it to death. So pissed seh. Grrr~

2005-05-09T14:40:00.000+08:00

Just got back from school.

Know what? I broke down after the invigilator said that time was up for Maths Paper One. I just cried. My maths sucks and the paper was just too difficult. I lost alot of marks already. My friends told me to forget it and concentrate on Paper Two tmr. Haish. I'm gonna fail maths for sureeeee.. Thanks to people who tried to make me feel better.
[Nami ShaSha Yana Farah Iqah Nadia Esther Liying Khatija etc] THANK YOU. =)

Last night i slept at 1+. Crammed my brain with fast facts on Singapore, Sri Lanka and Northern Ireland. The paper was okay.. Managed to finish on time. I'M WORRIED ABT MY MATHS! =/

Errr i'm back to square one again. How sucky can my life get? Haish Haish Haish.

Speaking of which, there's so many things to buy. And i'm super duper broke right now. Abg Faris' birthday is 6 days away.. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO BUY HIM!! What do you buy a guy for his birthday eh? When it comes to girls i'm okay lah. But when it comes to guys, i have no idea what to get. Siang2 dah kasi reminder, okay? So i cannot pretend that i forgot all abt it like last time. LoL.

And i need new clothes. A new watch. A new wallet. 4 new ear studs. And the list goes on.. Haish. I'm so materialistic eh. Haha..

Okay gonna go cut my hair now. And think abt what to buy for Abg Faris. Helppppppppppp! =/

2005-05-08T22:50:00.000+08:00

I'm so sorry i can't reply to tags. I can't even see the bloody tagboard! Grrr..

Something's wrong with my computer. I can't log in friendster! And i can't tag or even listen to ppl's blog music. Sheeeeeesh. Computer darling, get well soon k! =)

Right. So i just got back from tuition. So so so tired..

Studied Social Studies already. But i'm still not very sure abt the topic on Singapore. Too many facts to remember! Grrrrrr. Studying again later. Gonna try my best to go through the chapters on Singapore again.

You know what? Sometimes i wish i can take out my brain and remove all the items that i don't think is needed in there. Ugh. Its so difficult to get over it sometimes.

YES YES YES! I ADMIT, OKAY? I MISS HIM TO BITS. THERE! HAPPY?!

Sadly, i don't think he even remembers me anymore. Haha.

Okay lah. Forget it. I'm not pretty enough i guess..

Wokay Dokay Okay. Enough. Eh i miss my grandma and my larlings. Think i'm gonna visit them when my last paper is over. On the 17th maybe.. And i miss my late grandads. Haish.

Gonna cut my hair tmr. Just a little bit coz i'm pretty sure i'll look ugly-er with short hair.

So yeps. That's it.

Life is too short for you to miss someone and have them not missing you.

Sheesh. Whatever. Okay i'm out. *poof*

2005-05-07T18:36:00.000+08:00

Got myself a new mp3 player thanx to daddy dearest. Since the battery compartment to my Creative one dropped off until i had to stick it with a couple of stickers in the shape of stars. LoL. Nahh didn't get myself another Creative mp3 player. Got a Panasonic one instead.. 256 MB. Okay uh tuu eh.

Yep. A nice, subtle blue colour. Not exactly my favourite colour, though. Haha. Can i be a hand model pls? Pretty pretty pls? LoL. Nahh i'm kidding.

So far my day has been a-okay. I'm still kinda pissed off at my computer though. Well actually, not at my darling computer but at spywares. Ugh. I hate them to the coreeeeeee. My brother installed this Spyware Remover or something. So now i can't download photoshop brushes or pretty fonts from the net. =(

Watched tv just now. MTV was featuring My Chemical Romance. Mikey is one good-looking bassist. I like his hair! I can't get access to some internet websites so i can't find his picture. Go take a look okay! I like his hair very much. =)

Sia-sia aje rumah bnyk cermin kalau tak reti nak cermin diri sendiri. Haha. Still remember how i said that to someone. Yes, now i realise that all you have to do is a lil bit of self-reflection and you're all set and ready to forget the past.

And yes ladies and gents, i am on the road to recovery. I'm ready to forget abt the past and concentrate on the present and the future. I'm gonna forget everything else that's becoming a hindrance to me. I have my OWN life to live. Other ppl can say what they want about me. Nobody's perfect and i know i have alot of flaws. Thanks for pointing out my flaws to me. I'll try as much as possible to change. Don't get me wrong, i'll only change attitude-wise. Physically? I am happy with the way i am right now. I'm fat and fcuking ugly, but at least i'm happy. And no amount of insults will drive me to the wall. I still have my insecurities and i still do feel inferior when i'm out with friends but i don't think thats a big of a deal. But don't worry, this change in me is not that drastic. Like what someone always tells me, "its how you carry yourself is what really matters". But yea, i still think i'm fat and ugly. [Bukan suatu penghinaan, tetapi kenyataan] Contradicting? *shrugs* I'm still learning to accept myself. Its time i wake up and smell the coffee, don't you think? Yea, lets face it. Reality bites. The truth ALWAYS hurts.

Being hurt ONCE was enough. Sadly though, you're still not aware abt the pain you put me thru.

Akan munculkah pelangi selepas hujan membasahi bumi?
Kalau pun pelangi indah muncul, lama manakah mampu ia bertahan?

~~I missed you enough to finally bring myself to say that i don't need you anymore.~~

2005-05-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

Wahh so sleeeeeeepy! Just woke up from my ~~short~~ not-so-short nap. Still feeling sleepy though..

I think i'm not gonna do so well in English. The paper was tough. AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WE HAVE TO LEAVE LINES?! I didn't leave lines for my composition. Ahhhhhh! I'm DEAD uh basically.

We finished our last paper at 12. Then I stayed behind with Farah and Iqah to finish up our Social Studies and History assignments. Farah went off earlier since her boyf was waiting for her. Iqah and i were talking about lots and lots of things when it RAINED. Both of us panicked since we didn't bring along our umbrellas. We were confident that we'll get lucky like yesterday. It rained after we reached home yesterday. And so, we were stuck in school. OF ALL PLACES. Iqah tried asking teachers for umbrellas. LoL.. But none of the teachers were willing to sacrifice their umbrellas for us so we went ard school. Decided to fill our stomachs in the canteen. I'm still full from the meal i had there, believe it or not. So i'm skipping dinner.

I kinda expected this already. I knew things were going to end up this way. Bottomline is, yes i'm fat and ugly uh okay. Try telling me something that i don't already know. But i keep thinking abt this. Haha. Don't worry, i'm still sane enough to come to a decision. Everything has to come to an end right? I'm just not sure right now. Its entirely up to you if you feel like pretending that i don't exist. That's fine with me. Do what you want lah k.. I won't be in your way. You don't have to worry abt that. =)

Right. I've said my piece. So its up to you lah eh..

Okay putting all that aside, thanx for tagging k everyone? And oh, thanx for the compliments on my graffiti. =)
Tag more pls. Haha.. Tag tag tag! Ehehehe.

Okay gonna go do something else.

Maths and Social Studies on Monday. I declare myself officially DEAD.

2005-05-05T19:26:00.000+08:00

Okay i think someone messed with my html codes. Today's entry was all over the place. So yea, i'm gonna have to retype my post. Unfortunately, i have a really bad case of Short Term Memory so i'll TRY my best to remember what i can remember k..

Yep. New blogskin. I simply loooooooooove this one because it features DANNY! He's adorable don't u think? Ehehehe. His voice is super duper nice. And I LOVE HIS HAIR! <3

Nice? Not nice? U be the judge lah k.. Its abit plain to me tho.. =/

Higher Malay paper was tough. English is tomorrow. Wish me luck! I'll really need all the luck that i can possibly get.. The rain was great just now. Except for the thunder and lightning which scared the wits out of me. Haha..

I'm having this sudden utter dislike for mirrors. I'm so FAT uh! Haish. Okay enough said. Lets view some pics taken yesterday shall we?

i drew this due to extreme boredom.

drew this for farah. =)

i drew this. combination of farah's name and her bf's. =)

starry-eyed surprise.

tsk tsk. teenagers nowadays... LOL! =P

pardon me. i just ADORE fruit tree fresh. =)

chiobus of 3A! esther and shi ying.

yana with her original design of 3A's flag! woots.

us. 4 out of the 6 malay gurls of 3A! [i look FAT][Picture courtesy of Mr. Dustbin]

this pic is editted. i accidentally deleted the original copy. SORRY!

them saying goodbye to me. cute uh tu! haha. =P

Okay end of pictures. There's some more but i think they'll kill me if i put up some of the funny pics that we took. Haha. I look FAT kan kan kan! Haha.

And ohh yea, i think its time that i give up. I'm givinggg up! I have too many flaws uh. He'll never like me. That's for sure. =)

In case u're wondering why i love Danny now.. The reason is simple. ASHTON KUTCHER HAS DEMI MOORE! Haha. I don't know who Danny is with now so i guess he'll do for now. LoL.

I LOVE DANNY LAH OKAY? Hahaha.

Urm i think that was all i blogged abt. And i'm trying to figure out who would mess with my codes. Haha. I guess that's it then. Tag tag tag pls! Ehehe.

2005-05-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

I'm in the process of changing my layout. Letting all my creative juices flow is one of my best methods to de-stress. The layout is done. The html codes are also done. I just need to publish it and voila; a new layout. The layout is on someone oh-so-cute. Haha. You'll find out soon enough yea. Done entirely by me okay? Chey.

Tomorrow is the day everybody's waiting for. Kicking start 8 non-consecutive days of Mid-Year Examinations with a bang. Haha. To me at least. Because if i'm able to score well for the Higher Malay paper tomorrow, i SHOULD be able to do well for the Malay 'O' Levels this year. I memorised some of the peribahasa. I just need to go through it again. I'm scared.. Like REALLY scared. My English is going from bad to worse also. And i'm scared that it would be difficult for some of the teachers to decipher my handwriting like last year. They can't differentiate between my 'n' and my 'h'. Mid-Year Examinations are really freaking me out right now..

Brought my camera to sch just now. Took alot of pics. Almost reaching 40. I will post the pics later okay? Its not even resized yet. I've been keeping myself occupied with the list of peribahasa after uploading the pics. Sorry! And oh, i had TONS AND TONS AND TONS of fun with yana farah and iqah after school today. We took hilariously funny pics at the park. Super duper nice. Especially the background! I'd like to thank the dustbin for being there to 'take' some pics for us. =) And i'd like to thank yana farah and iqah for the wonderful time. =)

Right now i'm confused about my own feelings. Enough said. I think its time for me to just forget some things and some people who are just meant to be forgotten.

Yea i'm fat. Like REALLY fat. Pls don't say that i'm not if you haven't seen me in real life. Say whatever you want. Tell me that i'm being self-conscious and that i have a low self esteem. Yada yada yada. The truth still remains the same. I'M FAT. And there's nothing anyone can say to change that fact.

Okay that paragraph was just meant to make me feel better. Ignore that paragraph if you must. And for the record, i'm not asking for compliments pls. That's just how i feel. Because i can't seem to forget that one disser that i USED TO have and what he/she had to say. Haha.

Why i resort to putting myself down to make me feel better? Because i'm sick of being fake. I'm tired of ppl telling me that i'm not fat and ugly and whatsoever. With all these hypocrisy going on, i can't tell who is telling the truth. Therefore, i trust myself enough to say that i'm FAT. That's it.

If you choose to ignore me after this, that's entirely up to you. If you choose to be shallow, then its up to you. I have nothing else to say. The truth still prevails, i guess. Its up to you lah k..

This is what you get when you place a stressed teenager near a keyboard. She'll type and type like nobody's business and finally realises that what she typed made no sense at all. Urm get it? Haha. Okay i guess i'll go make myself even more stressed somewhere else.

Wish me luck for my MYE! =)

2005-05-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

Replies to sweet taggers. =)

SwEeeTkiSsEs : ehehe. deleted d pics. haha.. thanx anw. u're still prettier k! =)
NaNaChiCa : hahaha. cute = ugly but adorable! lolx.. u're still sweeter k! REALLY! =)
PrInCeSs aZiE : ehh not fair! i'm still addicted seh.. ehehe. u tc too! =)
sha* : HELLO! miss ya loads too! ur english is GOOD okay? u'll do well. don't worry.. =)
*nadz : nadz! miss kau lah! ahaha. cayang awak jugak! lol. =)

See. I told u i'm addicted to d computer. Haish..

School was fine today. I didn't have enough sleep last night. I was woken up countless times and the first thing i'd do is check my phone. Yes, i slept with my phone in my hand yet again last night. Haha.

My insecurity is at its peak these days. Everything's wrong with me. I keep thinking of someone, somewhere and somehow. Sometimes i wish everybody's blind. Wow. That'll be the day. I don't know how come he seems to be feeling-less. How come uh? I wanna tell him so so so so much but i guess i'm just SHY AND INSECURE lah. Haha. I AM A SHY PERSON, OKAY? Believe it or not lah. LoL. Okay, u can ignore this paragraph. =)

Just got to know that my cousin got dumped by her boyf of 9 months. Apparently, the guy has found someone new. Yea, OUCH. Guys are unpredictable sometimes. And i seem to remember someone telling me that girls are more unpredictable and weirder than guys. Haha. But i can't remember who.

Everytime my phone rings, i'd wish it's you. [everybody now : Awwwwww~]
Haha. No, i am not kidding. I mean it okay..
Haish. I don't know what's happening lah.....................

Ohh yea, before i go sit and stare at my phone, helplessly anticipating SOMETHING to happen [for d phone to RING lah! grrr.] i changed my blog song. This song made me cry yesterday. So yes, here's the lyrics. Okay everybody. LET'S CRY!

we drive tonight and you are by my side
we're talking about our lives, like we've known each other forever
time flies by, with the sound of your voice
its close to paradise, with the end surely near
and if i could only stop the car and hold onto you
and never let go
i'll never let go
as we round the corner to your house you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent"
and i want to speak these words but i guess i'll just bite my tongue
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from

and i, i don't want to speak these words
cause i, i don't want to make things any worse
and i, i don't want to speak these words
cause i, i don't want to make things any worse
why does tonight have to end?
why don't we hit restart and pause it at our favourite parts
we'll skip the goodbyes
if i had it my way
i'd turn the car around and runaway
just you and i.

2005-05-01T19:08:00.000+08:00

yes i know i said i'll be away. but d computer is just too addictive lah! not to worry though, i'm studying after this. =)

i slept at 4. studied until 3 with little distractions here and there. at 3, i felt sleepy so i went to bed. PRETENDED to be asleep so that abg faris will hurry up and finish using d computer. haha. and THEN, i cried myself to sleep again.

i've been really really sensitive and touchy lately. no idea why.

just came back from lot 1. went on a date with my mp3 player again. planned to go to d library but it was closed. met yana to get my cd and to pass her something. bought pens at popular. don't know where my pens went. i know one is with a certain teacher. haha.

and oh, saw nanachica when i was abt to enter lot 1. smiled smiled and i continued walking. she's preeeeeetty! =) saw a few other ppl that i knew. said hie and walked away. haha. wasn't in d mood to talk.

saw my old neighbour at yew tee. she couldn't recognise me at first. haha. she said i look very different now. don't know lah kan.

i'm giving up already. my feelings are changing fast. so yea, i think this is for d best lah.

there's one thing that can make me smile and forget abt all my problems for a while.
MCFLY'S "ALL ABOUT YOU" VIDEO. go watch it if u haven't k. danny's freakingly adorable.

okok, i'm really going to be away these few days. i mean it this time. haha.

nothing's going right.

2005-04-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

cried myself to sleep last night due to extreme stupidity.

ohh well. no big deal.

i'm going to be away for a while. i'll come back after d exams.

i'm quitting eldds due to some personal reasons. i just need mommy's permission.

had tuition just now. abg zhaf came to my place. he taught me coordinate geometry which i don't really understand. i still don't actually. haha. i'm not confident lah..
he thinks he's super gorgeous. urm he IS, but no need to gloat lah. hahaha..

after tuition, studied abit. ate my lunch cum dinner. had enough of books so i decided to watch 'samara' with mommy. not THAT scary lah. maybe because i spent half of d time laughing at mommy because she was covering her eyes. hahaha. so cute lah..

a word of warning. i've been feeling sensitive and touchy these past few days. pls don't try to agitate and hurt me okay? i've gone through enough of that. so yes, however tempting it is, pls don't agitate or hurt me. u know how it is when everything is bottled up inside of u that u feel like crying and screaming? yea, thats how i feel right now. so pls don't try.

i'm not sleeping today. because i'll be up all night studying. and try as i might, i don't think i'd be able to sleep today. so so so so so many things in my mind. and samara has permanently planted herself in my brain. NO, I AM NOT SCARED. okay, maybe abit. =/ but she's still not d main reason why i can't sleep.

i'm thinking of something, somewhere, somehow. but not someone. yea i'm a liar.

and i'm thinking of THEM. yes, THEM.

and i'm wondering how my remaining secondary life will be like.

i never wanted it to be this way. i never asked to know you in d first place. so why are you permanently etched in my brain? trying to win samara over eh? haha. =)

yea. i'm thinking of oh-so-many things right now. when i really shld be thinking of sri lanka, northern ireland, russia and china. not to mention algebra and indices. i just can't get those things out of my brain lah. and my brain is running out of space. helpppppppppp!

i'll be away for now. gd luck to everyone for their MYE. =)

2005-04-29T22:08:00.000+08:00

oooookay. i have nothing exciting to update abt. but knowing me, i'll come up with something SOON. =)

went to sch as per normal. hated it cos it simply sucked.

someone tried to be sarcastic today. she said something to her friend loudly, with hope that i would react to what she was saying. hahahaha. gimme a break okay? i don't even UNDERSTAND what u were trying to say! i only understood d "sial" part. what big sial and small sial? they're still sial for heaven's sake. sheesh.

but just one piece of advice : work on it and i'll TRY my VERY best to act hurt by ur sarcasm.

after sch, went home. took a LONG LONG LONG bath, got dressed and went out. met nami and we went to civics to study. after studying, talked abt lotsa things over dinner with her.

i'm on d phone right now so its abit difficult for me to think of some more things to write about. so i guess i'll end here okay. i'll try to update tomorrow.. =)

wondering why ppl can't keep their comments to themselves.

2005-04-27T15:47:00.000+08:00

deleted yesterday's post.

because now i realise that EVERYONE resorts to hypocrisy. like it or not, i'd just have to deal with it. even though i'm pretty sure that i can't. i'd just HAVE TO. ohh well. hypocrisy or no hypocrisy, school still sucks to the core. i just hate it when everyone pretends that i don't exist, u know?

mom fetched me home early today. my stomach felt kinda funny so i called her up during recess. now i'm just gonna have to put up with those frequent toilet trips. haish. if u're erm.. smart enough, u'll know what i'm suffering from. =)
went to d polyclinic straight from sch. lucky me, d toilet there was super clean. haha.. mom went for her regular check-up and i went to see d doctor. she wanted to give me MC for tomorrow but i said no. yes, once again, i admit that i really really REALLY hate going to school but considering d lessons that i have tomorrow, i settled for an excuse for PE.

anyways, talked to mom abt my hair. i'm thinking of cutting it short. mom said i look like a mak nenek now with long hair. sheeeeeesh. i'm still considering cutting it short. and u KNOW how bad i am at making decisions. haha.. help me make a decision pls? lol

i just finished making changes to my msn messenger contacts list. i blocked and deleted 30 over ppl i think. because from 110 contacts, i'm left with 72.
and yes, i'm back to having msn messenger in my com. no more webmessenger for me! haha.

okay i think i'm done here for today.

nobody has any idea how much i feel like crying just by stepping into school.

2005-04-25T18:38:00.000+08:00

school went fine today. talked to ppl who didn't know i exist. nyahaha.

okay so anyways, today was fine. i'm worried about my geog though. after sch, accompanied nami as she served detention. talked to a few sec 1s. they claimed i looked abit different. hahahaha.. then i saw some ppl i didn't want to see. kalau tak nak senyum, tak payah lah okay? tak mintak pun senyum tuu. simpan untuk org lain ajelah ye.. saw kak asilah today. she's getting prettier everyday! missed her loads. =)

ohh yea, many many thankius to iqah for giving me one of her clips and paying for my drink during recess. i wanna pay u backkkkkkkkk! i'm gonna give u a treat soon lah okay? =)

thats it. i've had enough of everything.. i've had enough of being judged by my looks. wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf. seriously, I'VE HAD ENOUGH. say whatever u want abt how i look like, i don't think i care anymore. ignore me just because of my looks. u're just plain SHALLOW okay? ppl give me crap like how they look at personality and attitude. that's just CRAP. i've had enough lah seriously. i wish i knew who that guy was so i could have kicked his rear end for doing that to my friend.

yada yada yada. i just uploaded d pics that we took last saturday. have fun looking and critisizing. and ohh yea, i included a pic of me in my sch uniform so u can see how ugly i am in sch uni. haha.

yana biting into her burger..

hahahaha. yana yana~

i like this one!

this is the cute iqah!

this is ME trying to look like iqah and failing desperately. haha.. =P

this is the camera-shy namira. my good-est of all good friends. =)

the evil side of yana.

me before going to sleeeeeep. =)

this is meeee in sch uni. pardon the editting. my face too shiny uh. hahaha..

okayy dats all. there's some more actually. hahah. so yea, judge me all u want. i'm not pretty? tell me something i don't already know. =) okayy whatever. i don't want SOME ppl to say that i'm asking for compliments. yes, whatever. say what u want lah k..

2005-04-24T18:50:00.000+08:00

my deepest apologies for not updating. my computer was infested with some virus and i couldn't update. ohh yea, which reminds me, SORRY to ppl who received some url through msn. really SORRY.. the irritating thing was bloody automatic. sorry lah okay? really sorry really sorry. =)

i reformatted my computer already. but the thing is, there's no more MSN messenger 6.2. there's only version 7. and my eldest brother doesn't allow me to download messenger 7. so everytime i wanna go msn, i'll have to go from webmessenger. =(

the past few days have been okayy. went studying with iqah yana and nami yesterday.. took alot of pics. yet to be uploaded. will upload them sooooon! alot of candid pics. haha. niceeeee!

very very bored right now. not on a good mood actually. because of something that someone did. and weirdly enough, that someone is on d fone with me now. haha.

aunt just called. i'm having tuition later at 1930. i'm still not getting ready yet.

studied already just now. gonna go on mugging mode this coming few days. don't know if i'll have time to update my blog. i'll try to make time okay? =)

okay i'm gonna go get ready for tuition now. i will update when i have the time and i'll upload the pics soon too okay?

replies to taggers :

eZa-DOLL : yea he's cuteeeeee! ehehe. thanx yea! *hugs*
*nadz : mataer kau? ishk. jgn sebok lah okay? hahaha.
x.xidah : okay dokay. will link u up soon enough! =)
i K ! N : haha. i loveee everything bout him! =P
*nadz : u have a nice weekend too yea! =)
Covergirl : happy mugging to you too.. take care! *hugs*
PrInCeSs aZie : yay u're backkkkkk! =)
*nadz : computer aku rosak lah. miss u too! haha. u take care too k? =)

okayyyyyyy i'm ouuuuuuut. my mood's all gone lah seriously..

thanx for tagging okay? carry on tagging! =)

2005-04-21T19:58:00.000+08:00

school was okay. something happened but i don't think i wanna go on a full dissing mode. my mood's all goneeeeeee.

had a great time after sch with kak farah. i'm so jealous. haha.. kidding. he's perfeeeeeeeeeeect for you! good luck okay? =)

wahh so many ppl are in love. i'm in love too! with Christopher Ashton Kutcher. hahaha. i know. DREAM ON.. well a girl can most certainly dream, no? haha. Christopher Ashton Kutcher is cute okayyyy? ohh well. i'm not in a rush or anything like that. bcoz i love my chrissy! hahahahahh. okay i'll stop now.

now that i don't feel like going on a full dissing mode, i don't know what to blog abt.

life has been a total blur
but i'll miss you, that's for sure

hahaha. just some rhyme i came up with a few minutes ago. it doesn't even ryhmeeeee right. don't know what's wrong with me lah. okay no mood! toodles then. MYE is drawing neaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! i'm so dead.

2005-04-19T17:51:00.000+08:00

i just got back from school. had this science mock exam which i forgot about until this morning. haha. so tiredddddddd.. it's scorching hot outside. i want rain! i want rain!

anyways, took my NAPFA five stations test just now. and yes, i failed my standing broadjump. by a few cm. it went fine, i guess. considering that i'm not really physically fit. nyahahaha. failing one is a-okay to me. and urm i'm kinda surprised at my timing for shuttle run. whoa whoa.

i haven't stopped coughing and my nose is still running. malas lah nak kejar.. haha okay. lame, atiqah, lame. okay and so, yes, i AM still sick. i wanna stop being sickkkkkkkk..

i feel lonely being home alone. so suuuuuuunyi..

and time for story of the day! chey mmg dah mcm gossip column. hahahah..

yes i'm feeling better today. i didn't look forward to school this morning but i went anyways. and yea, what a few people told me didn't really gave me d shock of my life. i kinda expected this already lah. and i had this HUGE feeling that someone was mad at me for some apparent reason yesterday.

lets just say someone spread stories which are so totally un-true. mcm fitnah lah gitu. chey first time nie difitnahhhh.. hahahah. really lah. if she wants to tarnish my name, there are abt a million other ways to do so. why choose this? she got fauziana backing her up. fauziana believed her i guess. so much that she talked to me awkwardly just now. yea, but whatever. my conscience is clear. i didn't do like what she said i did. kau nak fitnah, fitnahlah sepuas puas hati kau. i'm not gonna get affected.

okayy i'm feeling abit tired. guess i'll be off to la-la land in just a jiffy.

i don't hate myself anymore. =)
but i still hate those hypocritical ppl. *coughs*

and i wanna watch guess whoooooooo! ashton kutcher so cute! *melts* but have to wait until after exams. =( anyone wanna go with meeeeee? hahaha. public advertisement eh. and i wanna go shopping. and i wanna go out with my friends. wahh so many plans! hahaha.

and oh btw, i didn't get the part. haha. which means i'm FREE TO GO ON A HOLIDAY IN JUNE! how happy can i get? hahaha. a teeny weeny bit disappointed but its all good! at least i can enjoy my june holidays. right grrls? ehehehe.

okayyyyy i'm off to la-la land. i wanna dream of ashton. my chrisssssssssy! hahah.

2005-04-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

have u ever felt so pissed that u wish u could change everyone?

well i'm feeling that exactly.

i just got told off for something i didn't do.

and have i mentioned that i'm hating school?

no?

okay I HATE SCHOOL.

I HATE MY CLASS.

I HATE THOSE HYPOCRITICAL PEOPLE.

I HATE MYSELF.

2005-04-18T18:50:00.000+08:00

wow. i'm super super bored. or like sha* prefers to say it, "locked in the boredom threshold". chey! haha.

so anyways. sch went on as per normal. erm not THAT normal lah. because i fell asleep in history class and i have my medicines to blame for that. haha. i felt so sick........ and so nauseated by some ppl's behaviour.

fauziana and i got called by mr cheng after recess. erm have i mentioned how i HATE prefects? well i really do. we got called because apparently, some childish prefect [HUSAINI] complained to mr cheng that we were rude. i don't know abt fauziana's story but here's mine.

he got me at a totally bad time. it was after recess and i was already feeling pissed abt SOME ppl who erm, i don't know. they just pissed d toot outta me. so yea. he started everything. i was already pissed and he had to add on to everything.

annoying one : atiqah, why aren't you in line?
me : how shld I know? *walks away*
annoying one : COME HERE RIGHT NOW.
me : what?
annoying one : where's your nametag?
me : hilang lah! sebok apsal?

then that little [and i mean, LITTLE] childish rat went to complain to mr cheng. hah. mr cheng didn't punish us or anything like that. just a firm warning.

results to d audition not out yet. tomorrow maybe?

and yeah, i just don't know what the term "friend" mean anymore. because everyone seems fake. and PLASTIC. i can't be bothered anymore. i have feelings too in case u haven't noticed.. and i can know when someone doesn't like my presence. if d sight of me irks u, fine. i'll leave u alone. whatever lah.

i'm on d phone with zul now. haha..

so toodles then!

2005-04-17T17:41:00.000+08:00

heyyyy. went to d macdonald's at yew tee to study with yana today. got bored soon after that and so we went home. less fun because iqah wasn't there. ahaha.

yana helped me with maths. THANK YOU SO MUCH. =) so i won't be totoally clueless when i go for tuition later. thanx again! =)

talked with zul on d phone just now. i didn't know he was recording our conversation when he asked me to sing "its all about you" so i gladly obliged lah. coz i can sing already! haha. then he played back d recording. i was so shocked and super speechless. and he recorded my super merepek voicemail greeting. don't know what he wanna do with d recordings with my voice in them. haha. weirdd lah he.

took some pics. i'm so in love with my pooh. yes, d yellow coloured bear thingys. ehehe. so cute! =)

me and my pooh! =)

me! haha. looking chubby-er.

my pooh! so kiyooooooooot.

haha. okay okay. i need to go already. my brother wants to use d computer. see, i TRY to be a good sister. nyahahaha.

2005-04-16T21:30:00.000+08:00

ooookay. is nobody's visiting or is nobody's visiting? because nobody's tagging.

haha. okay maybe i shld update abit more.

my life so far has been super boring. i'm sitting at home, stressing over d upcoming Mid-Year-Examinations and stressing over a whole lot of other issues. its no wonder i'm super sick, according to my mom. ohh well, mothers. hah. according to her, i think too much. i shld be more laid-back.. hahaha. I WISH.

i'm just stressed over d fact that d Mid-Year-Examinations are just a few weeks away and i just missed 1 whole week of school just because of d high fever i had. why i didn't go to sch?

1] i had a week of MC.
2] YOU wouldn't want an always-coughing girl in YOUR class would YOU?
3] i would risk my friends being sick and being d "nice" ppl they are, they'd blame me.

so next monday i'll be busy looking for subject teachers trying to get everything covered. i can't get my tutor to call me! i tried calling him and he's apparently on attachment. which makes everything even more difficult than it already is because i don't freaking understand COORDINATE GEOMETRY. i'm seriously gonna die.

and speaking of monday, d casting results are out on monday. considering that i completely screwed-up d last audition yesterday with my funny voice and lack of energy, d part that i was auditioning for would surely be filled by nadia and namira with one of them as d understudy. i was so bad yesterdayyyy. and to think that it was video-recorded. ohh man ohh man ohh man.

there were some issues yesterday. don't get me started on how ppl who claims to be my "friends" can get so ugh. because trust me, if i start, i will take up half of this whole compose box. and besides, i don't feel like dissing people TODAY. =)

i'm still sick even until now. no more fever. all thanks to my mom's air badak thingys.. i wonder why d water is called "air badak". OKAY DON'T TELL ME. i don't think i wanna know. so anyways, i'm still coughing like nobody's business.. and i've been dying to sing. i wanna sing but everytime i try to, i'll cough.

okay before u go "ohh no wonder its raining..", in case u haven't been clued in, humans cannot make rain happen. err hello? isn't that obvious? sheesh.

i'm still worried about d whole audition and d whole Mid-Year-Examinations thing.

and i hate my voice.

2005-04-16T13:25:00.000+08:00

right. i'm back..

with nothing more to say. YET.

i have no idea what to blog about. seriously.

so yada yada yada. lets see if this works out.

i wish everyone would stop being plastic.

ohh well, thats LIFE for you.

i just want you to know,
if you lose your way, i won't let you go.

2005-04-12T14:05:00.000+08:00

yay after 2 whole years of blogging, i finally have a tagger who had something negative to say! how happy can i get? sheeeeesh *sarcastic smile* hahaha. thank you so very much for tagging but its definitely NOT appreciated okay? keep ur comments OFF my tagboard, dammit.

i deleted all my tags.

lets review what d tag read okay?

it had something to do with me being rude for rejecting compliments and me wanting more than 1 compliment. wtf.

let me, once and for all, make this clear to everyone okay. I, NURATIQAH BTE MUSA am not being rude by rejecting all ur compliments. i deny and say that i am not what u claim i am because i really am not. ask anyone who has seen me in real life. i'm fat and super ugly. so i'm in NO position to accept that compliment. if i do, that's being SHAMELESS okay? which is worst than being rude. so to everyone whom i have rejected their compliments, i'm sorry if u think i'm being rude. i'm sincerely sorry.

go on, TRY ME. ask anyone at all. my classmates, my brothers, my schoolmates and ppl who has seen me in real life. i'm fat and super ugly. REALLY.

so bottomline is, i can't bring myself to accept ppl's compliments because to me, it is SO not true. i'm not being rude. and neither do i expect more compliments to assure me okay?

i repeat, i honestly feel that i'm in NO position to accept ur compliments. i don't need re-assuring either.

and wtf. i don't WANT more than 1 compliment. how do u know? are u psychic or is there a statement in my blog which clearly states "COMPLIMENT ME!". is there? i'm afraid not.

so ruckass or rufus [isn't that a dog's name] or jackass even, get off my case okay? i think i've got everything straightened out. its entirely up to u to believe me. just one thing, get off my bloody case okay? i'm not like what u think i am. i don't expect compliments from ppl. because i am too used to getting insults instead. so there. i've made my point. if u're still not contented, there's always that little 'X' sign. go click on it and get d hell outta here. don't further contaminate my already clean tagboard. thank you.

i'm still sick and i don't think i need this right now.

like i said, dissers who can't keep their comments to themselves shld really get their own tagboard and diss themselves all they want. tagboards are FREE for goodness' sake!

okay i don't think i shld make things worst so to him/her/it, i'm sorry to hear that u think that way abt me.

and to everyone else, lesson to be learnt, NEVER compliment me. =)

2005-04-11T12:01:00.000+08:00

just got back from d doctor's. she said my temperature was too high..

i got MC for 2 days. but i think i'll be coming to sch tomorrow since MYE is drawing near.. excuse for PE for a whole week but then i'm gonna have to take my 2.4 on wednesday or i'll fail everything.

i have 5 medicines altogether. and everything costs $44. sucha rip off.. so expensiveeeeee. and mom said she's gonna have to cut my allowance. haishx..

i tried scanning but my scanner is spoilt. haha.

d medicine i just took is making me sleeeeeeepy. and mom keeps asking me to go sleep so that she can use d computer. mentang2lah dah tau pakai computer! hahahaha.

okay good nyte everybody!

2005-04-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

haha. my temperature was 39.3 when i went out of d hse. i didn't look sick at all! its just d temperature. =)

went out to town today. met ayie [he's a friend] at jurong east and then we went to town.

THERE WERE SO SO SO MANY PPL. and d scorching hot weather didn't help at all! it was SO hot. we couldn't decide where to go and then we ended up at coffee bean scotts. haha. and stupid me, i ordered something milky when i was sure that my stomach was having problems.. couldn't finish d drink. went to heeren next and walked ard. my stomach started to hurt so i went to d restroom. haha. and d funny part was i was just sitting at one corner, trying to bear with d pain. and my mood was gone for awhile. then soon after, d pain was gone. hahaha. he wanted to take neoprints. i didn't want to at first. haha. i was so indecisive i think it got to his nerves! haha. sorry!

so we took neoprints. 2 at heeren. den we went to cineleisure to take another. which was a HUGE mistake! the machine sucks to d core and it didn't look nice at all.

overall, i had fun and i had alot of laughs. except for d pics at cineleisure which pissed d both of us off! we both agreed that it was ugly. hahaha.

so anyways, my temperature now is 39.4.. went up abit. and i'm suffering frm a major headache and a bad cough. right now, i need to sleep! my legs and hands are numb already. so, goodbye! =)

2005-04-10T08:04:00.000+08:00

psst.. can i ask u something? is 38.6 considered high fever?

i've been dry coughing since last nite. i woke up at 7 just now.. my throat was painful and felt kinda itchy. hahaha. i don't know how to describe lah.. but when it feels itchy, i'll cough. but there's no phlegm or anything. hahahaha. yea i know. GROSS!

my throat was super super painful. i was lying in bed semi-conscious.. my eyes felt heavy and everything. my hands and feet were super cold and when i put my hand on my forehead and neck, it was HOT HOT HOT. so i decided to get up and look for my thermometer. first it was 38.1. den it went up to 38.2. den it went down to 38.1 again. i just took my temperature and its 38.6 now. but surprisingly, my forehead and neck don't feel hot at all.. weirddddd!

i'm feeling abit headach-y now. and oh, i sound like a bapok frm thailand. hahaha. *winks at kak mar*

its scorching hot outside. and i'm gonna have to clean my super messy room by 11am today or else i can't go out. yea, i'm going out later.. completed my homeworks yesterday. and i'm left with 4 more mths to go for d adam khoo 6 mths plan. IF my mom allows me to go to sch in this condition, i'll have to complete that bloody thing by tonight..

and yea, i'm not really confident that i'm gonna have fun today. not in this condition and i'm not really feeling good abt myself. u know, low self-confidence thing today.. yea, i'm having that. haha.. its a disorder which i usually suffer from every time i plan to go out.

*screams* i'm fat fat fat and super super ugly. no wait, make that super super fugly.

hahaha. i'm gonna have a bad day today. really? =/

2005-04-09T12:26:00.000+08:00

hello hello!

my tuition starts at 1 today. but i'm still in my room, sitting in frnt of d computer. and psst, i haven't bathe yet. muahahahaha.. i am gonna be lateeeeeeee.

thanx to ppl who tagged. =)

and thanx to ppl who attempted to make me happier. THANK YOU!

i love my friends! my net friends too! love u guys! =)

i'm really gonna be late if i don't start bathing now. haha.. and my mom gave me d shock of my life when she came into my room and switched on d computer while i was still sleeping. wow. didn't know my mom was tech-and-computer-savvy.. hahaha. so next time, don't judge a book by how old it looks. oops! in case u're reading this mom, i'm sorry for that! hahahahahahaha.

2005-04-07T19:50:00.000+08:00

i'm back from sch!

ok ferst, THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR TAGGING, EVERYONE. =)

replies to taggers -

iqah : hahahaha. insyaAllah.. =)
yana : yea i miss YOU and the others! really! hehe.
kyn : haha. thanx. get well soon.
*nadz : haha. thanx! i hate d medicines tho.. =/
farhan : ntah
*nadz : its ready. tak nmpk kau kat msn mcmane nak pass, pinggan? ahahaha.
huda : thank you huda! miss ya okay? haha. u tc too! =)

okie dokie. THANK YOU AGAIN FOR TAGGING! =)

my day went okay today. didn't know sch was this fun. hahaha.. can't wait for tomorrow. we'll be having our group auditions. wish me luck pls! ehehe.

and yea my voice is back to normal. but my throat still hurts real bad.. in class, i drew on jeremy's arms. muahaha. filled with someone's name.. then seng ying saw and wanted a girl's name written on his arm too. haha. and they were wondering how come i can write so nicely. LOL.. this is what u get for not paying attention during penmanship class in kindergarten! =P hahahahahaha.

yana, iqah, farah, nadia and fau are really great to be with. had a fun-tastic time! =)

ok now time for me to vent my anger. saw him again today. yes, he's freaking cute but i don't know why i'm pissed. like really pissed.

he's just a typical fcuking fuctard who fcuking goes for fcuking good looks which i fcuking DON'T HAVE. and therefore he still fcuking likes that fcuking girl who is so fcuking pretty. i am so fcuking pissed that guys these days only goes for fcuking looks. what the fcuking hell is wrong with them? okay maybe i am just being so fcuking jealous that i don't have fcuking good looks like some fcuking ppl. that typical fcuking fuctard does not even fcuking acknowledge my fcuking existence. so being the fcuking stupid girl that i am, i still can't fcuking get over fcuking fuctards like him. so what the fcuking hell is wrong with ME?

okay i am so not feeling good.

i sincerely apologise for the vulgarities.

2005-04-06T14:50:00.000+08:00

i have a really sore throat. i even sounded like a guy when i woke up just now.. hahaha.

ohh yea, HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY FAUZIANA AND SENG YING!

went to d polyclinic just now.. waited for a long long time until it was my turn. haha. and to think that i took only 5 minutes inside d doctor's room. she said that my throat's really sore and that i'm having throat infection. hahahaha. hopefully after taking d medicine, i won't sound like a guy anymore yea? haha.

there was this couple quarreling at cck interchange. and then d guy confronted this grp of boys just because they were looking as he and his gf shouted at each other. wtf? he even was about to punch one of d boys in d face. hahaha.. stoooooopid sia.

anyways, it's very difficult for me to swallow my food. painful seh!

and surprisingly, i kinda miss school. hahahahahahahahaha..

its still d same thing. i don't know what the hell is wrong but i hate this okay? if u're not happy with me about anything at all, pls tell me. by keeping quiet and treating me like this, it doesn't help at all.. and u know how much i hate hypocrites right? pls stop being fake and tell me if anything is wrong. actually, i kinda knew this was gonna happen. haha.. honestly speaking, i'm kinda sick and tired of everything. sometimes it pisses me off u know? no wait, it pisses me off ALL THE TIME. stop treating me like this will ya? if i did anything wrong, i'm terribly sorry. stop this. pls.

okay okay okay okay okay, i miss him. enough with the interrogation already ok everyone?! hahaha..

2005-04-05T18:11:00.000+08:00

sorry for not updating yesterday. guess what? I ALREADY WAS SLEEPING AT 5PM. haha.. sorry again! =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHATIJA!

hope u like d present yea? =)

ok anyways, today was an okay day for me. had our class photo taking session just now.. haha. i definitely will look ugly in those photos. hahaha. so not nice lah! and we showed our vanity by rushing to find mirrors. haha. kecohhhh! 3a rocks no matter what okay? ahaha.

d physics practical test was horrible. i'm gonna fail FOR SURE.. haishx.

i was messing with my hair infrnt of d big mirrors when ms yap walked past. i greeted her. den she stopped and said...

"ohh yah atiqah, i just want to tell u that u have shown improvement in d maths common test.."

wow. that really made my day.. she's giving out d papers tomorrow. i got a borderline pass i think.. don't know lah! she didn't say how much i got. she only said i showed improvement.. so yea, i think it means that i only got a borderline pass. ohh well, at least i improved! haha.

i have my cousin to thank lah actually. he was d one who tutored me.. even though i only had 4 lessons with him, i think he helped alot already. he helped me understand better. haha..

then after sch went to mcd with yana and farah. so kecoh lah! talked about lots of stuff and laughed and laughed and laughed. hahaha.. thanx to yana for helping me with maths. =)

okay i wanna read and maybe sleep after that. no homework for me! weeets! haha.

2005-04-03T16:56:00.000+08:00

yep. changed my blog song again.. nice song hehs? i just love d lyrics lahhh..

sorry for not updating yesterday.. i went to town with namira to look for fauziana's present and then went to tuition. bumped into d sec 4s in 190. with their skim boards and everything. hah. no comment lah yer! =)

i'm bored to death today. haha. eh and it has been raining almost everyday now.. cool! i just looooooooooooooooooooooooove the rain. especially just now when i went to limbang, it was about to rain and so i looked up and saw dark clouds moving; covering d clear clouds. d view was amazinggggggggg! i love looking at clouds! ehehehe.

in case u're wondering wth this song has to do with me and my life.. i'm having a relapse lah. i mean, i had a crush on someone.. it kinda faded and now its back to haunt me again. hahahahaha..

oh and btw, when i was in d bus yesterday, there was a middle-aged couple sitting in front of me. d man was reading a newspaper and d lady was kaypo-ing. and guess what?

D MAN INSERTED HIS INDEX FINGER INTO HIS NOSTRIL AND DUG HIS NOSE IN PUBLIC.

wth? i just stared. d lady didn't seem to mind.. and what disgusted me d most was that d man simply flicked god-knows-what-was-inside-his-nose off his fingers. eww eww eww. at least do it at home lah! tsk tsk..

okay sorry if i grossed u out. hahaha..

simple plan - everytime

it was 3 AM when you woke me up
and we jumped in the car and drove as far as we could go
just to get away
we talked about our lives, until the sun came up
and now i'm thinking about how i wish i could go back
just for one more day
one more day with you

*everytime i see your face
everytime you look my way
it's like it all falls into place
everything feels right
ever since you walked away
you left my life in disarray
all i want is one more day
all i need is one more day with you

when the car broke down
we just kept walkin along
until we hit this town
there was nothing there at all
but that was all okay
we spent all our money on stupid things
but if i looked back now, i'd probably give it all away
just for one more day
one more day with you

repeat *

now i'm sittin here, like we used to do
i think about my life and how there's nothing i won't do
just for one more day
one more day with you

everytime i see your face
everytime you look my way
it's like it all falls into place
everything feels right
everytime i hear your name
everytime i feel the same
it's like it all falls into place
everything, everything feels right
you walked away
just one more day
it's all i need,
one more day with you..

2005-04-01T19:10:00.000+08:00

hello hello! i came to sch late today. went out of d hse at 7++.. but i still managed to reach on time! haha. something happened last nite but i rather not talk about it okay? =)

sch was FUN just now. ok, yea d lessons were plain BORING but i'm referring to d after-school FUN. hahaha.

btw.. just now in commemoration of april fool's day, d sec 3 express classes changed classes to confuse d teachers. haha. my class [3A] went to 3B. it was ms yap's maths lesson. but she cannot be fooled lah.. she was so "cool". no blurness detected. so it didn't really work with ms yap. haha. so class, lets try doing that one more time next yr if we get a different teacher.. =)

after sch, it was only me and yana. fauziana and iqah were chosen for d dance thing tomorrow. so yea, while waiting for them, we sat at d canteen. then went to limbang to buy chocs and went to d shop nearby. yana wanted to look at shafiq! nyahaha. understandable lah eh yana? ehehe. we went back to sch, ate our chocs and went to d shop again. and again. haha.. yana couldn't get enough of looking at shafiq! hahahaha. but i don't mind lah.. understand, understood and understandable. lets do that again next week! haha. i laughed alot.. thanx yana, really needed that. =)

then had eldds. drama lah basically.. haha. we had auditions for our sch's ten-year-anniversary performance. i think fauziana's DEFINITELY gonna get d lead role. i auditioned but i think nadia's gonna get that part. haha. wth lahh.. if not, worst to worst, i'll be d stage manager or d make-up IC. HAH. matilaa korg! muahahhahah.

here comes d weird part. i was sitting with iqah and yana. iqah was imitating our instructor.. we laughed. then after a while, everyone was silent. just then, our instructor's face came into my mind. then i laugh lah! u know, those kind of laughter which really can make ur stomach hurt? yea, that kind. namira thought i was possessed. puteri thought i was crazy. maybe because i didn't stop. i did stop, but i continued again.. i laughed alot for no reason.. haha. puteri and yana kept doing some signal. haha. *puts index finger on forehead* yelah, aku giler.

tomorrow, we have some sch event at ecp. seriously, how merepek can our sch get? sports day is abolished to make way for family day this year? wth? my family's not even gonna be there. okay i really can't make a decision if i am going right now. i'm lazy and i don't wanna see some ppl but i don't wanna miss out on d fun! haha.

gonna have to make a decision soon. okay guess dats all for today. i saw him again today! freakingly cute lahhhhhhhh.. can i have permission to melt pls? eheheh. oops! =X

2005-03-31T16:56:00.000+08:00

okay actually nothing much to update. except that i feel so so so sleepy. yes, i know.. pls don't say "go sleep lah idiot" ok? haha. i'm sleeping laterrr..

sch was okay. thursdays just cannot get any fun-ner. we watched and laughed as fau did her hair into many many different hairstyles.. haha. funny lah she! and sitting on the floor beside her, i can't help but notice someone staring at her. i know lah she's pretty. but must CONTROL okay? hahahaha.

the rain was just so nice. even tho i reached home totally totally drenched, i still had fun playing with the rain. i was carrying the "umbrerrra" [mr ong's style] and walking in the heavy rain. haha. NICE. d "umbrerrra" was of no use actually.. it was fun lah! and not to mention, friggin coldddddddddd. i was shivering sey. yes, even with my thick layer of fat. nyahahaha!

if there's one thing i hate about assembly in d parade square in d mornings, it definitely HAS to be mr ong's badly-pronunciated speech. each time he steps on the podium, everyone groans. and he claims he only will take 3 minutes of our time. hullo! he takes at least 7 minutes ok? i wonder if he ever passed his oral examinations before.. LOL. ok, i'm being mean. haha. so kranjians, remember to "bring ur umbrerrras on saturday ok?" hahahahahahahaha.

2005-03-30T18:41:00.000+08:00

i'm just so sick of hypocrites. if u don't like someone, why even bother to pretend to be "friends"? sympathy - is that it? heh. pls cut the pretence ok? i feel nauseated enough. pretending to care, pretending to be concerned and pretending to be "friends". HAH. forget it ok? i can see right through u and it really is nauseating. and btw, this has absolutely nothing with problems at school. its NOT school.. trust me.

sitting with CJ and jeremy has been okay. better than what i expected.. but really, it's still too soon to say anything. so yea, an "okay" is enough. =) at least they don't ignore me. haha. and they give me free sweets! yay.

i'm not looking forward to tomorrow.. not at all.

to someone : don't worry, he's all yours ok? i know my limits and i don't and won't go for someone else's bf. i'm sorry if i did anything wrong and i hope u'll forgive me. but i seriously don't think i did anything wrong. like i said, there's always a limit in being friends. and u're really pretty. which stupid guy would want to leave u? and i'm not even pretty. so really, don't worry ok? haha. i'll leave him alone if thats what u want lah k.. haha. i did just that already. again, i'm sorry. =)

ok now dats done, i feel much better. haha.

i DID NOT edit this pic using photoshop. i merely fiddled with d lighting effects. so stop saying that i always edit my pics using photoshop to make myself look better ok? see how fat i look. eh wait, i AM fat. ahahaa.

2005-03-29T20:17:00.000+08:00

wahh so tired today.. i took a short nap just now. was reading this book when i fell asleep. i almost slept through maghrib. so i must thank yana for calling me and sending me an sms. it woke me up. thanx yea! haha.

things just cannot get any shyttier. after what happened that day, i began to wonder if what the-bald-one said just now was true. when u gain something, u usually will lose something else. dats exactly what happened.. what a life, huh? ok maybe some of u don't understand what i just typed. nvm k..

i browsed through friendster just now.. saw some things which made me have THAT feeling all over again. ok so maybe i AM being stupid by having all these "feelings" and stuff but i don't know lah heh. the feelings' coming back. but no way, i promised myself i won't develop any feelings towards him anymore. HAH. ok i feel stupid. don't mind me k..

i think before i type anymore crap, i better stop now. =/

think i'll be off to write testimonials for people. anyone want one? hahahaha.

just in case u're wondering, i'm NOT okay, okay?

i'm not sorry to say this

but u're definitely not missed.

2005-03-28T19:09:00.000+08:00

ok i'm sleepy.. wanna go sleep but then i haven't done my filing for geography. haishx.. and i just spent 2 hrs doing the layout for my brother. cerewet [indecisive] lah that guy. haha. but i'm looking forward to the $20 he promised to give.

abg, if u're reading this, sorry if its still not done yet. html dier susah lah. by tomorrow k? and yea, u owe me $20! haha. if not i complain to ma. hahaahaha..

mondayyyyy. so tired.. i went to sch looking like shyt. oh wait, i've always gone to sch looking like shyt. haha. yea but today i looked extra shyttier. yesterday i was on d fone until 12 with him. then i went to slp.. woke up at 5 and realised that i got a missed call. stupid lah he/she. called me at 12.30.. i wanna know who that person is tho. the number didn't look familiar at all.. haha.

sch was alright.. ohh yea, i'm being moved again. now i'm sitting in between jeremy and javier. and just now jeremy told me that if he wants to talk to javier, i'd have to lean in front so that they can talk behind me.. haha. i doubt i can concentrate in class.. well, what to do! haishx..

something happened yesterday which ruined my mood totally. HAH. whatever lah.. i'm okay with everything. and i understand d situation. i'm used to this already. goodbye! FOREVER.

oh just so u know, i did some changes to my msn contacts. i deleted away quite alot of ppl.. so yea, sorry if i deleted u ok? it was intentional. harhar.. u must have done something to piss me off. well done! =)

i guess dats all for today. i need to get an attitude adjustment. nyahahaha..

~~u were someone but u chose to be no one.~~
~~so i'm moving on and i hope u'll be gone.~~

ok stupid rhyming thing. byebye.

2005-03-27T16:02:00.000+08:00

yay i'm back! missed me? ehehe. i've missed u! muahaha. =P ok ferst of all, THANK YOU for tagging. at least my tagboard wasn't dusty while i was away. harhar.. thank you again for tagging!

replies to taggers.

+nicole+ : hey hey! thanx for dropping by yea? =)
riotgirl2718 : lolx.. no i don't. YOU owe ME meals. =P
Covergirl` : sayang u many many also! ehehe. sorry i chnged d song..
*nadz : harhar. mane ade lawa sey.. kau lagi lawa! simpan ur hair long2 lah.. =)
ZaLiQuE : hahax. thanx thanx.. =)
farhan : which pretty girl's asleep? harhar.. thanx for tagging farhan.
eZa-DoLL : hahax. nolaaaa.. u're sweeter! =)
*nadz : i missed u and ur posts too! i'm updating k.. chill bebeh!

okie okie.. lets see what i did ok?

on friday, i reached grandma's hse at 6+. nyahahaha. there was only me, kak fiza and my grandma.. abg sabri went out. my grandma so cute lah! she was wearing my little cousin's colourful plastic earrings. haha! and she made sarcastic jokes which made me and kak fiza laugh like we've never laughed before.. and when me and kak fiza wanted to go to kak fiza's hse which was only a few blocks away, grandma pulled a long face. merajuk lah tu! haha! so cuteeeeeeee. slept together in one room. =)

on saturday, we had to wake up at 6 to follow grandma to the market. and my grandma kept calling me kambing. =( hahaha. try to figure out why. then, i went out with kak fiza and her bf. wow. i felt like a total lamppost. hahahah. but it was fun lah. then at nite me and kak fiza talked and talked and talked.. then her bf called and they got all mushy mushy so i slept first. nyahaha. it was the first time in the whole week that no one called or sms-ed the whole day. wow.

so today, i woke up at 9. ate breakfast. watched teevee.. smsed some people. then bathed, got ready and watch teevee some more and then made my way home with my BIG BIG bag. i looked like a teenager who ran away from home. ahahaha. wahh it feels great to be home. but i got into an argument with my eldest brother even tho i JUST reached home. haishx.. *shakes head*

ok ok ok. so that was how i spent the last 3 days. read a few ppl's blog.. wahh everybody's in love. and suddenly while reading, i felt so "left-behind". everyone's listening to my chemical romance and stuffs. haha.. but wth, right now i'm stuck to matchbook romance - promise. hahaha.

right now i'm working on abg faris' blog. haha. then i have to revise for my social studies common test tomorrow. my parents still not home yet.. ok i better start doing the blog now..

wow. today is really a bad day. hahaha. wth.. dats okay.

psst nadz, miss ya loads! harhar. in fact, i miss everyone. =)

2005-03-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

ok time to post some pics. some stupid pics. nyahaha. outing with nami.

our messy table..

our not-so-messy table..

and our not messy table!

nami took this..

wow. yummy!

haha. so sebok and so fat. taken today btw. ahaha..

psst, i'm supposed to be on hiatus! hahax. ok i'm gone! nites!

2005-03-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

i'm just so happy! everything is okay now. my parents are okay! yay. no more war and d best part of all, no more "what if" questions! weeeeeeeeeeee! hahaha. i'm just freakingly happy that everything is over. i can live peacefully now.. so i'll just have to tell the bald one that i don't think i need counselling anymore. yay for me! ahahaha. i'm happy i'm happy i'm happy. alhamdulillah.. everything turned out to be okay and i don't have to worry abt that anymoreeeeeeee. yay! yay! yay! haha ok i'll stop now.

to those who have been there for me when i was feeling down, THANK YOU!
to those who cared and listened, THANK YOU!
to those who helped me emotionally, THANK YOU!
to taggers who cared [eZa-DoLL, katrina, kyn, KeCik, NaDz, Covergirl`-], THANK YOU!
to kak mardhiah, kak farah, kak silah and iqah, THANK YOU for being there for me.

to those i didn't mention but cared, THANK YOU!

2005-03-24T18:25:00.000+08:00

i cried in school for the second time this year. don't ask me why. all i can say is, i hope HE grows even balder than he already is and have a shiny looking head. oh wait, it already IS shiny. nyahahahaha. ok so now i have to find that book by hook or by crook. haishx.. how seh? money money money. come to me pls! haha. i wish. =/

changed d seating arrangement. i'm sitting next to amoz. and iqah! yay yay yay! hahax. and we got our new timetable already. 40 minutes per period. monday-thursday we're finishing at 1415. and we're finishing at 1255 on fridays. and we have pe twice a week. wahh. so tired sey like dat..

ohh great. my computer's infested with spyware again. somebody help!

i'll be away from tomorrow till sunday. my parents are going off to malacca with my aunts and uncles. how are they going to survive there? i seriously don't know. lets just hope they'll be fine after coming back from the trip. so i'll be bunking in with my cousins at their house until my parents come back. so yea, i'll be on hiatus till then. i'll miss all of u k? hahax. =P

changed my blog song. keep singing this song in class. and iqah got stuck to it. hahaha. so iqah, here's d song. hope u enjoy it yea? =)

ransom letter - pug jelly

so you stole my heart, and left me a ransom letter
demanding i treat you better, should i ever want it back and
now i'm all alone
dreams are all forgotten, memories all turned rotten
it's not the same on the phone

[*]so what's up girl?
things haven't changed a bit since we last met
i bet my bottom dollar you're the best, girl that i ever had
i never wanna lose you
so what's up?

i can't let you walk away
we planned to live forever in each others arms
so please hold on
you know no one will love you like i do!
and that's the thing you know it too

[*]

i hear our song; it keeps playing on the radio
i'm all alone and i just want you to hold
i hear our song; it keeps playing on the radio
please make your mind up, don't see what the future holds

[*]

ok dah. dats d lyrics, as requested. enjoy d song! will be missing u all k? =) pls tag! yay i'm off. *poof*